When It Snowed

Chapter 44 - A Mile Away

3 Months Later.

She was stronger. Finn knew how to fight it. The urges and the demands that she felt prying in the back of her mind spoken by the voice of HYDRA? She could shove them down to the pit of her stomach where they seemed to sit, every single one of them, until she was able to digest their words and ignore them in ultimatum. That was where she was at, but how she got there? That was the hardest process to accept.

After the team had finally broken through to the master assassin, she knew of the sins that she committed and she was fully aware of every right they had to kill her right there and then. She remembered every kill, how it felt, and more importantly- how she enjoyed it. A lot of the time, it sickened her how much she liked to kill. It didn't matter the true intentions of HYDRA, Finley was a monster on her own. Yet, at the same time, she didn't have any control over it. That seemed to be what drove her mad the most.

So, to cope with the guilt, Finley simply did nothing at all. She locked herself in one of the rooms provided to her by Stark, sat with her head between her knees, staved herself, stayed up for days and fought a vicious war with the battle going on within her mind. This was HYDRA's last attempt of control, their last push to getting back their precious weapon that they spent so much time creating. Finley needed to win.

Weeks had passed and her emotions and skills had become dull. With no strength in her system, the woman became nearly stuck to her place on the floor and enough food to feed the homeless of New York went to waste at her feet. Nobody could do anything to make her eat, not even Bucky. Most of the time, when he came into the room to comfort her, she couldn't hear a word that he was saying. It wasn't until he gripped her or placed his hand on her arm that she knew she was there. Most of the time, they knew that she was making progress in the right direction because of the way she would react when he did so. Before, she would flinch and pull away, square up ready to fight. Now, instead, he let off a smile seeing her beautiful blue eyes staring right back at him. His Finley was getting stronger. Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier was growing weaker by the day. Total, over the two month period, her muscular and toned body had lost over 40 pounds.

Nothing was going to stop her though, not until HYDRA was rid from her life for the remaining time that she had left. Not even the Avengers could pull her away from her personal assignment. They would go on calls, missions that kept everyone but Pepper Potts away for weeks at a time. However, every time that they returned, they were happy to see the progress that she had made.

Especially on the day that everything went silent.

Finley had noticed it immediately. It was about one in the afternoon when she finally felt peace. The constant headache had seemed to subside, the struggle for breathing disappeared, and out of nowhere- she felt a strength in her limbs that she hadn't felt in a long time.

3 months, 14 days, and 11 hours. That's how long of solitude was needed to get to this point.

So, taking a deep breath, the woman placed both her metallic and flesh palms on the floor besides her and gave it a firm push. Almost immediately, her bottom peeled off of the floor beneath her and her shaky legs took their place in a firm fashion. Her balance was off for a little bit, but as the room slowly began to settle and no more spinning was happening, Finley swallowed and took a step forward towards the voluntarily locked door. She instructed Tony to make it so they could only let her out from the outside.

Reaching it, her broken frame let out a soft smile and she leaned her forehead against it in exhaustion. Finley could feel. She could feel that she was hungry, she was tired, she was sore, and most importantly- she felt like herself. She felt like the Finley who ran the streets of New York back in the 1940s. She wanted to ruffle Steve's hair, she wanted to watch the man eat a stack of pancakes, she wanted to go running across the roof tops, she wanted to be with Bucky again. She completely and utterly wanted him by her side with the same amount of strength that she felt the day that he was shipped overseas and away from her. Finley felt like she needed to go and get him back, she needed to save him from wherever he was, but she knew that he was safe. He was with Steve, and she was back here, separated from her boys once again.