When It Snowed

Chapter 34 - How To Train An Assassin

"You come in here, and I kill you." Finley's voice echoed through the door.

Bucky just leaned against it pressing his forearm to his head. They had eaten something, and she was smart not to dive right in. HYDRA never fed her whole foods, it wasn't exactly in their "how to train an assasin" plan. They wanted to break her, and taking her apart from the inside was the best way to start.

So, in all honesty, it had been close to 70 years since her last meal.

The small one that she had tonight wasn't agreeing with her body.

"You know I've been with you when you threw up before, right?" He closed his eyes and let out a soft smile.

A silence filled the bathroom for a few seconds, but was cut off by a loud crash against the door. He knew that she had thrown something at him, and again it made him chuckle. "Stop trying to be a hard ass Finn."

It felt nice, actually talking to her like she was Finn again. In most ways and most situations, she was getting there. It was when she had flashbacks that set her off. That was when she went back to being the Winter Soldier. Until then, her personality just kept growing. Bucky loved it.

"Unlock the door Reaser." He demanded.

There was silence. Of course that's what it sounded like, she was a master assassin. It wasn't until the lock to the door actually clicked that he knew she was letting him in. Bucky waited for a few seconds, then he slowly pushed the door opened. Inside, he couldn't help but sigh seeing her sitting on the counter top just like she had done many times before. The woman looked like a scolded child, like she was about to get chewed out for something she didn't do.

"So no solid foods yet." He stood before her and sighed. "Noted. How you feel?"

"Don't talk to me like a child." Finn swatted his hand away with venom.

As sassy as it was, there wasn't an ounce of him that could be hurt by her. Not anymore.

"Then stop acting like one and talk to me."

"What do you want me to say Barnes?" Her frustration grew as she slid off the counter and walked into the room. "I can't hold down a piece of food so you might as well starve my ass?"

Following her out, he crossed his arms over his chest and observed her from behind. "I want you to say we need to try something different. It's the first day Finn, we gotta figure out what works and what doesn't."

Finn mumbled something under her breath that even his enhanced hearing couldn't pick up.

"Want to know what I think you need?"

"Not really." She walked towards the window with her hands on her hips.

Chuckling again, he approached her. "I think we could both use some sleep."

Inside, Finley could feel herself lock down. Everything went numb, even her heart. Sleeping wasn't something she could do, not anymore; HYDRA made sure of it. It was something Bucky didn't need to see, it was something nobody needed to see. So, she stayed awake as long as she could until her body couldn't take anymore.

That's just what she was going to do now.

"Okay.." She kept looking out the window. "You get the bed."

"Absolutely not." He tried countering.

As softly as she could, Finn just kept her attention on the Wakanda city lights. "I don't remember what a bed feels like Buck, and I don't want to just yet." Averting her eyes down to her feet now, she just closed them and sighed. "Please."

Inside Bucky knew she was telling the truth. He could always hear it in her voice, he could feel it.
She wasn't ready for such luxuries yet, and that was okay.  Like he said, changes wouldn't happen overnight. Being in the same room, that was enough for him for now.

"Okay." He nodded. "I'll take the bed."

"Thank you."

"Just so you know-" he walked over to the door. "T'challa is locking us in for the night, but only I know the code. Nobody can get in, and nobody can get out." Watching him lock the door, her body somewhat relaxed knowing that.

All they would have to worry about is the window- and she would be covering that all night.

"Nobody but you, right?"

"Right." He nodded looking to her once again. Slowly, she looked away from him and back towards the window. Her expression wasn't proud, happy, or anything that Bucky wore on his.  Instead it was worried, careful, and scared all at the same time. She didn't want him to be stuck in here with her, not in case her mind turned on her once again.

He needed to be able to get out, to seek protection with the King and his people if she were to snap like she knew she could. Inside, she didn't know if she could contain it anymore. Sometimes it just happened, Finley could never tell when. There was no warning, nothing. It was like watching your parents turn off your favorite tv program back when you were a child. There was nothing you could do about it but sit in the darkness with the memories if what used to be. Then, you turn it back on, and you missed so much- and there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it. So, having one of the only people she cared about being locked in a room with her? That was her biggest fear. Finley was terrified of what she could do, but even more terrified of what she couldn't.

Bucky was the one that was just going to have to suffer the consequences.