This book is just me wanting to kill myself. Basically me being depressed and wanting to die. If that triggers you. Don't read this and ignore me. Please......
I have always wondered am I considered anorexic. . .
So what I've lost almost 40 pounds since August to May. But is it really anorexia if I didn't have the choice...
No I wasn't starved but at the age of 7 I was diagnosed with A.D.D. and A.D.H.D. (yes both. Its complicated). I was put on a medicine called Adderall(adderale idk how to spell). I don't know if it is just me but it makes me loose my appetite, depressed, and makes me focus. But everyone I tell this to for the first time says I should quite. Because I could get "addicted" or because "it isn't healthy".
Like for fucks sake don't people think I know this. Its my body and if I feel ill to eat then don't force me. On the weekends I don't stop eating I gain about 5 to 8 pounds in a weekend.
But I can barely take the pill in the morning without wanting to throw up. If it touches my tongue, I gag. Watching others take pills, makes me gag. Just saying the word pill makes me ill.
But on my meds I eat (at most) one item of food a DAY. In one day I loose up to 2 pounds. Some days I don't eat at ALL. But I'm not in pain. I've been doing this for 8 years. Just thinking about eating on my meds makes me ill.
See, my mind and body don't agree at ALL. My body is starving and begging for food. But my mind is disgusted by the thought of eating. My mind is set on one goal and one goal only.
Focus
Tell me your opinion on this. Would you consider me anorexic or just a girl with eating problems....
Picture of the meds:
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