I Need You (Min Yoongi X Depressed Reader)

Hurt

As each hour passes I stay locked in my apartment. The air around me musty due to the windows not being opened and it is as if the room had never seen sunlight before, everything was dark. I stayed in the same clothes, I didn't shower and I didn't eat. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to think, I just wanted to disappear until everything was okay again. 

I heard continuous knocks on the door followed by a soft "Y/n are you there?". It was Yoongi at first, a few hours later, Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook. I didn't answer, not once. I wanted to yet I didn't. They don't deserve this, they deserve better. I think that's why I'm pushing them away. 

I had received several messages from Eun-bi and Yoongi but I never responded.

As time continued on I almost relapsed, so so close yet I didn't. Why? I don't know. It may be because I have no energy or the pain just isn't working anymore, honestly words can't describe how I'm feeling in this very moment. 

As night time passes by I put on a hoodie and a pair of old leggings. I had the sudden urge to go for a walk. I leave my apartment checking if anyone is there and thankfully there wasn't. 

As I walk along the icy footpath, my breathe seen in the moonlight and my shadow growing as each car passes, my mind is blank, empty.  

I kept my head down low, I didn't really know where I was going. I walked and walked until I found myself in front of a convenience store. I walked inside, the bright light illuminating my face. Inside there was a man behind the cash register and another man by the drink aisle. He was sketchy looking yet I failed to comprehend that I may be in danger. 

I waked by the confectionery aisle, grabbing a block of chocolate as I felt like stuffing my face with food since I hadn't eaten in so long. I walked by the man, his eyes not leaving me once yet I ignored him. I quickly paid for what I had bought and left the building and continued to walk. 

As I moved down the pathway, not paying attention to what's around me I felt a pair on unfamiliar hands grab my waist and push me towards the wall. As my back made contact I gasped loudly as the air quickly released from my body. I managed to look up and it was the man from the store. 

His hand gripped on my shoulder and continued to tighten. His hot breathe hitting me in the face as he towered over me. He clearly was stronger than me so what's the point of trying. 

Quickly in a flash of black and white he was on the ground, blood escaping his mouth and nose. I stand their stunned, unable to react properly. Quickly the man ran away, he was gone. 

Everything had happened so quickly. Before I knew it Yoongi was standing in front of me, blood too leaving his knuckles, staining the concrete below him.  

He grabbed both of my shoulders and pulled me into a hug yet I didn't respond, I didn't react. His body was warm though, he felt alive. Like the heart within him was beating. 

As he pulled away he looked directly into my eyes and softly spoke. "Why didn't you scream for help? Why didn't you try to push him away? Why were you going to let him hurt you?" 

I could see that he was hurt yet I failed to show sympathy towards him. 

I spoke back. "I don't know" 

"What do you mean you don't know? He was going to hurt you and you weren't going to try and stop him at all" 

"B-because it doesn't matter. How did you know I was here?" I managed to say. 

"You weren't answering the door so I waited outside for a bit in case you decided to leave. I saw that you did and I followed you" 

I look down at the ground. I didn't know what else to say, I made him worry again.

"I-I need to go" I tried to move passed him but he grabbed my hand before I could go far. 

"Y/n please talk to me. I'm your boyfriend, I'm someone you can trust. Do you have any idea how much I love and care for you. I would do anything for you and it's killing me to see you like this, to see you try and push me away" The boy cried. 

I turned back around and I faced him. "Yoongi I do love you.."

"Than whats the pro.." 

"The problem is you deserve better than me. I'm such a burden. The reason why I yelled so much the night wasn't just because my dad came back. I was reminded off all the times I caused you and the others so much pain. When you first met me I was sitting in the rain and you had to look after me, when you found out that I hurt myself, all that stuff with my mum, my past, when we had the person stalking us, when I tried to... tried to kill myself, when I almost quit my job and now my dad has come back. It's just that you don't deserve all this. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, smile, laugh. Someone who is kind and caring and doesn't cause trouble. I'm just not that person, life doesn't want me to be"

I took once last breathe "Maybe we should just end it here, I can't see you unhappy anymore" 

And with that I walked away. I needed to.

Yoongi continued to stand their stunned, unable to speak as he watched the girl he loved walk away. He was at a loss and didn't know what to do anymore. 

As soon as I entered the apartment I sat against the wall. My breathing was heavy as I had run the entire way back. Everything had just seemed so hopeless. In that very moment though I wanted to hug him back. I wanted to hold him tight, tell him that he is my entire world, that I want to be with him forever. Yet that would be selfish because in the end he will get tired of me. He will get tired of the nonsense I cause and the pain I bring upon others. He will soon realise that fighting for me isn't worth it and then he will move on and find someone new. Someone who makes him happy, laugh, feel loved. That person isn't me. 

~Authors Notes~

I hate to say it but the end is near.