Empty | A Juice Wrld story

Part eight: Hurt Me

"I don't know if i'm ready for a relationship Val."

Juice P.O.V

She left.
Without saying anything.
I don't know where she went to but I know I fucked up.
I saw her tearing up right before she left, it broke my heart seeing her like that. Because I do actually care about her, but caring ain't gonna make me ready for a relationship.
She ran away in a foreign country, I know I have to look for her and bring her back to this hotel but I know that at this point she doesn't want to see me. I gave her a bunch of false promises.

I called a friend of mine, asking him to come over to bring me the drugs i've been craving ever since we got to The Netherlands. Cocaine.

Val P.O.V.
I ran away, tears running down my face smudging my full face of makeup.
I can't believe Jarad just broke things off on our first day of being together, I really thought he was serious this time. I know it has something to do with the drugs, he just can't give them up for me.

I continued to walk through the dutch streets of Amsterdam.
Everyone looked so happy. So full of joy.
I wasted so much time trying to fix Jarad.
The last few months I gave him my all. Gave him all my time. I never asked him to love me.
He said he loved me himself.
I didn't force my love onto him.
He shouldn't have said that when he clearly knew he wasn't ready to quit drugs.

I felt my phone buzz in my bag and saw it was Jarad. I declined not wanting to hear his excuse. It was getting late though, I left everything at the hotel with Jarad so I just had no way of booking another hotel room somewhere else.
My head almost exploded with all these thoughts running through my mind. I still felt nauseous and all of this wasn't making it any better.
I decided to sit down on a bench across a random canal. I calmed myself down but still didn't know what to tell Jarad.
I still loved that kid, but I know he will never change and I don't know if I can handle all that weight on my shoulders.
He continued to call me. It hurt me to decline, but I didn't wanna hear him.
I quickly texted him to let him know that i'd be back in thirty minutes, once he got my text he tried to call me again but I quickly turned my phone completely off.

Juice P.O.V.
I was extremely high, I wasn't able to function well. Lately I have been taking higher doses. I felt so bad without it, and it's weird but at this point I wasn't even scared to overdose anymore. It felt natural to me to completely fade out after being high.
I still wanted Val to be with me. I felt bad for breaking things with her this fast. But I didn't lie, I'm not ready for a relationship and even she can't change that.
I laid back on the couch looking at the front door, just wishing for her to come back.
After a while of me dreaming away I heard the door open. She walked inside and looked at me.
I could see her makeup was ruined after the breakdown she had.
I messed up.

"Val-" I started but she immediately cut me off. "Jarad I don't know if I can continue to look after you. Look at yourself. Tomorrow you won't even remember about what has happened. You mean the world to me and you know that, but you really gotta get help or you won't be seeing me anymore, i'm sorry."