The other days till my dad came back were a hell. I hadn't closed an eye till Thursday, not to mention my dad didn't even come back home Wednesday. I was filled with stress and I haven't even talked to Chris which is making me more frustrated. Nobody knows about my encounter with Darren and it's eating me alive.

Yes, Chris and I did  have a few words with each other, but I felt so bad and anxious all the time that I didn't even want to talk with anyone.

But the night came and my dad was home. I didn't dare to leave mom alone but she didn't want us to be there when she talked with him. But I was determined to go there tonight. I had to talk with my dad, today.

Right now I was just laying in Chris' bed with him next to me, arms draped around my torso, him steadily breathing against my neck as he just slept there peacefully. Me not being able to do so.

I placed my arm over his and played with his hair. Chris if you only knew. But I can't tell you. "I don't want to lose you", I said in a whisper even though he wouldn't hear.

"I'm not leaving", he muffled against my neck. He looked up with red puffy eyes and lazily smiled at me. That soon turned into concern. "You okey? You look a little bit sick."

I just smiled at him tiredly. "I'm just tired."

He sat up and looked me in the eyes as if waiting for me to say something next. But I didn't. "You didn't sleep? Just now?"

"I couldn't", I said barley a tone higher than a whisper.

"What's wrong?" he said laying back down facing me.

"I've just been stressed lately", I said.

"It's gonna be alright. Don't worry too much, your mom got everything under control", he said and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you for being by my side", I said. "I'm going to the bathroom."

I stood up and walked to the bathroom. The second I closed the door, I took out my phone. I received a message that I rather didn't want Chris to see.

Darren: no telling Chris or anyone else. Otherwise;)

Shit. How did he even find my number? Frustrated I ran my hand through my hair. I had such an urge to cry but I couldn't. I wanted to punch a wall so badly right now.

Acting as if nothing happened, I quickly washed my face and walked out of the bathroom walking directly into Chris' room only to find him sleeping again.

I wish to stay with you until the end, I don't know why I do everything to keep my dad's mistakes a secret. He deserves the hate. I guess because of mom I couldn't, she didn't want it. And perhaps me finding out about my innocent little sister, is also stopping me from doing so. She didn't deserve that, it wasn't her fault.

I couldn't ruin anything for her or my mom, I didn't have the right to. So Chris, I am so sorry but this is the right thing to do.

I took my stuff and quietly left his room. I took out my phone and left a message for him.

Me: I'll be heading out, I still have to go home and I didn't want to wake you up. Goodnight, I love you.

I walked home even though it would take me long to get home. I had to clear my head. I had to find a way out of this mess.

If I told Chris chances that his help would lead to Darren knowing and exposing the news were big. I couldn't tell him, but I didn't want to lose him either. Everything was frustrating me, I couldn't even think straight.

I wanted it all to end, Darren to leave and my dad- I didn't even know what I wanted from my dad. If all I wanted him to be gone, to leave. But I want to meet my sister, even if she isn't from the same mother.

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