Owen

Amara

"That fucker." Jase muttered through clenched teeth. "I've been wanting to whoop his ass for a minute, now I've got the prefect reason."

"Don't bother."

I did appreciate it. Jase and I may not get along the best but when push came to shove we were brothers. And brothers stuck together, we took care of each other, we had each other's back. And I knew without a doubt, Jase would never let me down just like I wouldn't him.

"He deserves to get his ass beat." Jase pressed, angry enough for both of us.

"Beating him up isn't gonna fix it." I said.

I knew it wouldn't. Even though, if I'd been able, I would have kicked his ass. But now that it'd been a couple hours, now that I knew what everyone thought of me, it just didn't matter anymore.

"What about you and Brandy?" I asked, changing the subject from me. I was done talking about Jaelyn and Drew. They'd been all I'd been focused on for weeks. "You still fighting?"

He gripped the steering wheel even tighter, the leather creaking under his palms as his knuckles went white. I took it as a yes.

"Dad said you don't want kids." I added.

He looked at me startled, apparently he hadn't expected me to know that.

"I'm guessing she does."

He nodded his head, his voice deep and raw when he spoke. "Yeah, four to be exact."

"Damn, you better get busy or you'll be having kids when you're dads age." I laughed.

But Jase was serious, not finding it funny whatsoever.

"I don't want kids."

I studied his profile, his eyes hard, jaw set. He didn't look like a man that was willing to compromise on the subject.

"Why not?" I asked.

I'd never thought about whether I wanted kids. I guess now it didn't really matter. But I was impartial about it all. Maybe I had just assumed that's what happened. You know, natural flow of events. College, marriage, kids.

Jase blew out a heavy breath, turning to look at me again. He was still gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping him from floating away.

"Do you remember mom?" He asked me.

I shrugged, here and there, sure. Definitely not like he did. "Yeah sort of."

"Did you know she had three miscarriages after you? That the fourth time she got pregnant, she carried almost full term?"

Yeah, I knew. Dad still had her hospital bracelet framed on the wall. It'd been there since they had come home empty handed and it was the first thing he hung up when we moved. Rode in a box in the front seat along with our mom's ashes.

"She was stillborn. A perfect little girl, a sister, we never got to meet." He said.

"Amara." I knew her name.

Jase looked at me with sad eyes. I knew that it hadn't hit me like it had hit Jase. I didn't fully understand at the time. Mom had already gone through three of them, much earlier along but when she went into the hospital and came home with nothing, for me at least, it just seemed like that was what happened.

"She never was the same after that." Jase mumbled.

I watched him stare at the closed garage, my truck parked next to us where it'd been for months. I felt like a dick. Jase was near tears, the memories clearly still raw and painful. And there I was, not feeling much at all. I was a piece of shit, who deserved every piece of what I'd been dealt.

"If Brandy and I get married and have kids like she wants, what's stopping it from just repeating?" Jase asked. "I can't lose her. Look what it did to dad. Look what it did to us."

I didn't have any advice, any words of wisdom to offer him. And Jase seemed to have run out of words. So we just sat in his car, staring at the garage door until it was time for therapy.

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Alright so this maybe be the last update until Monday depending on when and if I make it to a town while I'm up north. But have no fear I'll be writing. Happy Memorial Day everyone! Enjoy your weekend.