A Star for Baby (boyxboy)

Vulpecula

:(

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The door slammed behind Oliver, and Baby sank to the ground. He was already crying, but as soon as he was alone the sobs wracked his body with new vigor.

Oh god, alone. He was alone.

Baby curled up on the kitchen floor, too overwhelmed to move to the couch. He gave a hiccuping sob, and squeezed his eyes shut. 

This is what he wanted, he tried to remind himself. He couldn't stay with Oliver. He had to push him away. Baby had become a ticking time bomb that may or may not detonate. And he had to start preparing for the worst possible scenario.

And in the worst possible scenario, Baby had decided that it was absolutely necessary that Oliver be spared from the line of fire. It would hurt him, to break up. Baby wasn't an idiot, he knew that. But it would hurt him more to watch Baby die. He could move on from an ex. It was another thing altogether to move on from a dead husband.

Baby had reached this conclusion when he woke up in the early hours of the morning, throat constricting and chest tight. He'd spend hours alone on the bathroom floor with lots of time to think. And he realized that he didn't want to die. But even more than that, he didn't want to hurt Oliver.

"I'm not ready," Baby cried to himself on the kitchen floor. "I'm not ready."

And he didn't know what he was talking about really, if he wasn't ready for death or to be alone or both. But all he knew was he felt very young in that moment, and very very unprepared.

Baby eventually realized he'd probably been laying on the floor long enough. He tried pushing himself to his feet, but even that small action completely winded him. He tried taking a deep breath, but it only resulted in the world spinning and stars twinkling at the the edges of his vision. God damn it. He crawled forward, taking short little breaths, until he got to the trash can which he used to push himself up. It took about ten full minutes, but eventually he was standing, chest heaving.

He'd made a mistake.

Baby had made a huge mistake. He couldn't do this alone. He didn't want to do this alone. His heart ached with the words he'd said to Oliver, and just the thought of the boy made him want to cry again. He swiped a hand under his sore eyes, cheeks still wet.

Don't fucking call me crying in five minutes, Oliver had said. Baby bit his lip. It had been at least an hour.

And then his heart dropped with a terrible thought. Maybe Oliver didn't want to come back. What if Oliver had been so hurt that he didn't want to see Baby every again?

He shook himself out of it and reached for his phone on the counter. He had to try. He had to talk to him, had to apologize, had to do something. Being without him was agony. And even though there was a very real possibility Baby could die, he didn't want to die alone. It was a selfish thought, one that stung at Baby's cheeks. But he couldn't help it. He needed Oliver, and he had been stupid to try and deny that. Even if it had been for Oliver's sake.

Baby's thumb hovered over the call button. Would this be hurting Oliver even more?

He grabbed his phone and made his way to the door. He didn't know where he was planning on going, but he pressed the call button as he went. He'd meet Oliver wherever he was, yeah. He didn't want to wait for him to come all the way back to the house. He wanted to see Oliver now.

He held the phone to his ear. It rang once, twice, three times. Baby yanked open the front door, only to stop short.

Oliver stood there with his own phone to his ear, eyes red rimmed and still glistening. Baby gave a choked up sob at the sight of him. He let his phone drop to the floor as he launched himself forward into Oliver's arms.