Night in the Ruts

All Right--But I Guess the 'I'm Cheating' Fact Kinda Cancels it Out - Steven

        Well, you really can't win 'em all.

        It seems I, however, can.

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So I continued to see Charlie.

        And I continued to see Annie.

        And I started seeing Julia.

        Julia is... Julia is... Uh, she's... Well, I don't really know.  We don't talk much.  But I couldn't resist the tight white tank and the short skirt and the wild red hair...

        To catch you up, we released another album.  I know, I know, it seems like only a few days ago I was trying to write one song, but time flies when you're high.  And we were miles, my friend.  Miles and miles.

        Anyway, it's nineteen seventy-four and Annie doesn't know about Charlie and Julia doesn't know about Annie and Charlie doesn't know about Julia and she thinks I'm not with Annie, and I sure as hell hope that Annie doesn't know about Julia.  I mean, I told her–Annie, I mean–that she is hopelessly without question mine, so...

        I suppose I owe a lot to Joe.  He's saved my ass plenty a time.  He convinced Annie to go to her parents' house last night while we played the show, so that I could bring Julia back to the apartment.

        Let's get one thing straight: I'm not in love with Julia.  I don't love her.  This isn't some stupid denial of love, like I had with Charlie.  This is real.  I love Annie, I'm in love with Charlie, and Julia is... Julia.  I know, I know, How can I be in love with one person and continue to potentially harm them?! and all that.  I get it, okay?  And I don't know how or why I'm doing it.  I just can't seem to help it.  And believe me, it's eating me alive on the inside.  I'm ridden with guilt!  And that is why this happened:

        I awoke to first the sound of a clap and Joe saying, "Get your lazy asses up!"  I was only vaguely aware of him saying that and went right back to unconsciousness afterwards.

        And then I heard the sound of laughter and it was actually quite piercing in my hungover state of mind.  "Shut the fuck up," I groaned.  I sit up, resting on one elbow and survey the damage from last night.  I see all of my bandmates except... "Where's Brad?"

        "He's in the bathroom.  By the toilet," Tom says sheepishly, looking down.  Annie stifles a chuckle.  I'm not in the state of mind to figure out what's funny.  But then things seem to happen in slow motion.  First, Joey untangles a familiar looking purple bra from his hair and throws it down onto no other than Julia, who is right next to me and topless, might I add.  Frowning, I slowly register what's happening.

        Oh my God.  Annie's right there and Julia's right here... Oh shit.  Fuck.  Shit shit fuck.  Fucking shit on fire.  I'm done for.  Totally busted.

        Unless...

     I look to Joe with terror in my eyes.  The last thing I want is to hurt Annie.  Or Charlie.  But–goddammit don't think about her right now!  You've already got two here, don't think about the third!

    Joe's face is blank, though his eyes are burning with rage.  He jerks his head back and forth infinitesimally.

        Annie, thankfully still clueless, removes herself from the folds of the couch and joins me on the floor.  She kneels down over me and sits, facing me.  "You didn't call last night," she says.

        What?  I was supposed to call her?  When did I ever say I would?  Okay, normally I do call, but when I'm as drunk as I was, usually I forget about everything.  And last night just seems to not exist.

        "You said you would, remember?" she asks.  I glance over at Joe one more time, but he's not looking at me anymore.  He's staring at the spot just above the TV, grinding his teeth.

        Well, I figure, why not just pile it on?  "Oh right," I say.  "Sorry."  I smile my best, but in truth I do honestly feel bad.  Yes, yes, How can someone so heartless feel bad?, but I'm really not heartless.  If you think about it, I'm farthest from heartless.  Because I can't say no.  Right?  I've got three girlfriends, all of whom I'd feel bad breaking up with (add the fact that they're all gorgeous), and all of whom I could never say no to.  That's actually caring.

        But I guess the whole 'I'm cheating' fact kinda cancels it out.

        Anyway, Annie kisses me and that's about when Julia showed signs of waking up.  Quickly, I do the first logical thing that comes to mind.  I life Annie off of me and run off to the bathroom.  I decided to stay in there until Joe came to his senses and saved my ass again.

        I heard muffled talking, and then the door slam.  Weakly, I leaned against the sink counter and bowed my head, closing my eyes.  I'm heartless in every sense.  But all I can think about is how relieved I feel.  Some of the worry I've been carrying around is, oddly, gone.  I decided to rejoin Julia and the band.

        "Where's Annie?" I ask, trying to sound upbeat and clueless.

        "Does it matter?" Joe snapped.  Ouch.  That one hurt.  I can't let it show though.

        "Who's Annie?" Julia asked.

        "What?" I asked, trying to confuse her

        "What?" Julia says.  Good.  It worked.  And then I kiss her to clear her already empty head further.  She has the tendency to make a noise like she's eating something savory while we kiss.  Which, under different circumstances, might not be so bad.

        And then Joey changes the subject, thankfully, to breakfast.  And because I'm so relieved, I laugh with Tom and Brad when Joey can't remember Whatshername's name.  And I laugh again with them when Joey tried to cover it up.

        And at that, Joe stormed to the door with a bag of stuff, opened it carefully, and stepped outside.  Elyssa and Jayme (Whatshername told us her name) follow him out.

        And I didn't see or talk to Annie–or Charlie for that matter–for three days.  And those three days were hellish.  They were made even more hellish by my need to make them seem less hellish.  Meaning, I drank more.  A lot more.  And I basically just sat in the same chair the whole time.

        Until I tried to get her back, that is.  And that, as you can imagine, didn't go well at all.

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A/N: A filler, yes.  The next one will be better... I hope :)