Like I'm Gonna Lose You

(25) Back Home

Everyone else went to Texas to welcome the boys home except Lindsey and Alexis cause she was two days old and Lindsey had to have a c section. The boys came over and Bucky started to get upset "No no baby look at me hey look at mama." Winnie said as she grabbed his cheeks

"She left me didn't she." he said through tears. 

"No baby look at mama look at me. She didn't leave she's at the hospital at the base baby she had a baby two days ago via c section. You have another little girl to get home to that she named Alexis James Barnes. She couldn't fly out baby she didn't leave." Winnie said as she hugged him. 

James looked at all three of his boys they all three looked like hell with some facial bruises and they each have some bullet wounds."I'm proud of you boys. You would have made your grandpa proud too." James said as he hugged all three of them. 

He stood in front of Bucky "But I'm the most proud of you James. I know you didn't want this but you put that aside when it came to your brother and I know that wasn't an easy decision to make. And after talking to your CO I'm very proud of the fact that you are apparently a incredible sniper." James said 

"Got that right" Bradley said 

Bucky smiled at him "Thanks dad." he said 

"Dad you should of seen him. HE took out two guys that had guns pressed to our heads and he took out guys behind him. He's even taken one out standing right in front of us right between the eyes." Brody said 

"Okay I don't want to hear this "Winnie said 

"I had no doubt your brother could do that. He has great hand eye coordination and I've always told him to be aware of his surroundings when it came to him playing sports. He knows how to observe the playing field before he makes a play." James said 

He squatted down to his kids and hugged him. "I'm so happy to see you three" he said

"Daddy you missed my birthday." Haven said 

"I know baby I'm sorry..I missed everything." he said 

He stood back up "I need to get home." he said 

"Okay..let's get you home." Winnie said 

They all boarded a flight back to South Carolina. He got back to base and went to the hospital and found her room. He took a deep breathe as he opened the door. He walked in she was feeding Alexis and she was looked down at Alexis. "I gave you daddy's name cause atleast one of his kids deserves to have his name even if it's a girl." she whispered 

"It can be used more than once." he said with tears in his eyes.

She looked up at him "James.." she whispered 

"I told you I always come back to you I even managed to keep me Brody and Bradley alive." he said as they came in behind him. She fixed Alexis' blanket to hide her milk filled boobs. "You could of warned me." she whispered 

Bradley came over kissed her forehead "I'm glad you are home in one piece Bradley James." she said 

"Me too." Bradley said then said "You keep giving me cute nieces and Uncle Bradley may have to retire from the military. 

"Bradley" Bucky said 

"What? Military has always been my plan guys. I wasn't forced to join like you two were I wanted this. Even if it does cost me my marriage and time with my kids. But I have enjoyed this job" Bradley said 

"But Bradley don't you think that after what has happened that you should discharge." Brody said 

"See this is the difference between us three. You both run away and hide when things get to scary and you don't want to do it anymore. I love this job it's fun for me." Bradley said 

Bucky shook his head. 

"Um you two close your eyes." Lindsey said as she pointed to Brody and Bradley and she unlatched Alexis and adjusted herself. Bucky took Alexis "Hey darlin I'm your daddy." Bucky whispered as he took his newest daughter. 

Then he looked at Lindsey then to his brother Bradley. "We are the scaredy cats Bradley we just risked our lives to save yours." Bucky said as he gave Alexis back to Lindsey.

"And I'm grateful for that I really am." Bradley said 

"Yeah looks like it when you want to go back out there and do it all over again Bradley. I spent the last two years on deployment I was home for a total of five hours when Callie called us upset and I almost lost my wife in the process cause I ran out and cancelled my discharge papers so did Brody. It's scary but I did it you have no idea what it's like to be me and Brody. You are three years old than Brody and 4 years old than me. By the time we came along you were use to dad being gone all the time. We use to think dad didn't love us cause he missed so much. Or when he came home he had his PTSD shit. Look at my wife Bradley all of her life all she's known is people leave or people take her away. I was worried every damn day over there. Especially this time around more than anything cause as much as I love this woman right here I'm always scared that she deserves better. I have bent over backwards for the woman I love. I fight like hell to make her happy Bradley I failed her I failed my kids. We didn't celebrate Ellie's first birthday that was suppose to be when I got back last year but I had to go save your ass I missed Haven's first day of school and Brady's first day of preschool. I've missed those moments just like dad and I never wanted that life. But you want to know what happened to me and Brody because we wanted help our brother and save him. They put back on enlistment for two years cause they weren't sure how long it would take. So thanks to you I'm stuck doing this fucking job for atleast another year and half." he said with tears in his eyes. 

James and Winnie were standing there with the rest of the family. "You had dad be there for those moments we didn't that's why we both made the decision to not do this. Then we were forced to do this Bradley."Brody said

James looked down as tears fell down his cheek. "Bradley I'm glad that you are okay. But I hope you know that I threatened to leave James if he walked out the door to save you. I have four kids I can't lose him and if you are captured again. Brody is more than welcome to go save your ass but James will not be there to save your ass again." she said as she looked up at him. 

"I understand Lindsey." Bradley said 

Gary said "Okay everyone let's just breathe and enjoy the newest addition the family and celebrate the fact that the boys came home in one piece." 

Bucky made Lindsey look at him and he kissed her. "Ive missed you and you need to stop making me cute daughters." he said with a smile. 

She smiled at him "Oh daddy keeps working out the way he does he will intimidate any boy that comes their way." she said 

"I'm sorry I missed so much Haven let me know that I missed her birthday again. Althought I think it might have something to do with her being born close to her birthday." he said

She smiled at him and rubbed her nose against his. "You look so sexy in uniform baby." she said 

He smiled at her "I'm starting to think that you want me stay in this job." he said 

She giggled. 

A few days later they got to bring Alexis home from the hospital. They were in the bedroom that night after the kids were asleep and he turned on some music pulled her up off the bed and started to slow dance with her to "I Still Believe In You." by Vince Gill. 

They had their foreheads together as they danced in their room. "We are gonna need a bigger house baby.' she said 

"I know.." he said 

"That cottage is to small too." she said

He laughed and said "I know.." he said 

They dance to a few more songs then they went to bed.