ONE DAY [ MATHEW BARZAL ]

- five hours -

"I-I." I start but stop as my emotions bubble uncontrollably. I swallow thickly, my eyes dropping to my feet so I don't have to look at him as I speak these words. I know it's going to hurt him but it is going to hurt me even more, I care for him, I adore him, but I don't love him.

I take a deep breath to steady my racing heart. And then I tell him. "I don't love you Mathew, I-I don't have any feelings towards you."

"Bullshit." Mathew calls out once I finish. His dark eyes are glaring at me even though I'm not looking at him, his stare is ingrained into my senses.

My heart thumps even faster at his words, why is he being stubborn? I have already told him I don't believe in love, which means I don't love him or anything in my life. I am hurting myself to even tell him I don't have feelings for him when I know I do, but I am realizing what a mess I have gotten myself into after spending this day with Mathew.

Why did I have to be so stupid and develop feelings for Mathew when I know I am leaving? Fuck, I shouldn't have done this but then I would never have met Mathew. I am having too many conflicting thoughts about him, my feelings for him and everything that is happening or about to happen. If I wasn't leaving him, if I wasn't so afraid to confront my feelings for him, what would be happening between us? Would I be staying here with him? Would he actually have convinced me that love exists and that I just might be in love with him?

"What?" I stutter out, finally having the courage to lift my eyes from the ground and towards his. He stares at me, his dark eyes that once were filled with joy is now filled with pain.

"I said bullshit, you do have feelings for me, you do love me." Mathew explains, his voice firm and unwavering with his eyes never leaving mine. It has my heart beating faster, my whole body screaming at me to run away from this confrontation but I know I have to face it before it is too late.

"I'd like to think I know my own feelings better than anyone else." I reply curtly. Mathew raises his eyebrow, pushing himself up off the ground and stands with his arms across his chest. If I wasn't trying to keep my cool I would have one hundred percent attacked him then and there with kisses. Gosh he looks so hot when he is angry, the muscles clenched in his jaw makes his jawline stand out more than usual, those dark eyes are even darker than usual, and his body just exudes sex appeal as he stares at me.

"Oh really? You can't stand there and tell me you don't have any feelings for me, not after what we shared together." He tells slowly walking towards me, his eyes boring into mine that makes me shiver.

"I-I don't have feelings for you." I tell him instantly, my heart thumping against my chest when he stands close to me.

"Lies." Mathew mutters shaking his head at him. I hold my breath as he continues to stare at me, my body shaking with nerves as I await whatever he has to say next. "You're lying about everything."

"Shut up." I mumble through greeted teeth, my hand balling into a fist at my side. Gosh, for once I wish he wasn't so stubborn but he isn't lying and that is what is making it worse. I wish he would just give up and let me leave as is, taking my memories of him to England so I can remember him but he isn't making this easy. He wont let me give unless I confess my feelings for him, but I am stubborn myself and wont let myself in to his trap again.

"No I won't, I will not stop going until you tell me the truth about your feelings. God damnit, I fucking love you, how can you be so blind to my feelings for you?!" Mathew yells out, his hands flying to his sides. I startle at his sudden outburst, my eyes widening as I watch him from where I stand. I did not expect that to happen nor for him to tell me he loves me again, he can't mean anything that he's saying. He is just upset that I am not listening to him, that my feelings for him just aren't the same as how he feels about me.