Times ending

Time to run

I've always wished for magic, something that could bring me out of this fantasy that has nothing to show. I wished for something that would make me special, friends who loved me for who I am and a family who didn't cause my anxiety issues. I wished for hope and trust. I wished for the things I would never get.
I watched as my friends went out together, how they always went out together. I watched as they grew up and got boyfriends and I watched as my life flickered before my eyes as if I was always standing in the same place. I watched the faces changing and new people entering my circle of vision. I watched as the old ones disappeared.
I dreamed of lands that differed from reality. I dreamed of the day I would come home and everything would be... Perfect. I dreamed of my family being happy and the friends that I'd always stood by to stand by me for once. I dreamed of a new beginning and a new start. I dreamed of a good life.
I read the books that brought my fantasies to life. I read the news with the horrifying truth. I read the signs telling me to 'keep out' or 'go away' as if I wasn't told that by people, never mind inanimate objects. I read the letters sent to me and the messages on Facebook. I read the things that made me hurt and cry, the things that made me want to give up. I read the things that others hated, because I was exactly like them. I read to fall in love, only to be crushed. I read because it was the only thing I had left.
I wished. I watched. I dreamed. I read. I hoped. I listened. I sung. I danced. I searched and found. I travelled far. I got away and found my way back home. I loved. I won. I lost.
I have a life behind what you think of me. I have a meaning beyond the tears that I cry. I have a family in my heart, one that never lets me down. I have the things I have always wanted inside of my heart. People say that unicorns don't exist, that mermaids are a myth and princesses aren't real. People say that the things we believe in have no meaning, that they don't change anything, but they do. As soon as we think up something, as soon as we have a thought or a character or a story in our minds, our hearts are automatically connected. As soon as our hearts are connected we begin to love and hate, to laugh and cry. We begin to see the sides of people that are merely fantasy. We understand them. We trust them. We know them. We believe in the characters that aren't really there. "They don't exist." Do they not?
As soon as someone is in our hearts doesn't that mean that they are real. It doesn't matter if all they are is a book character or just a made up creature. It doesn't matter if they will never say "hello" to you or that they will never see your face even though you see theirs daily. All these things have no meaning because as soon as we believe in something they become real. As soon as we believe in the possibility of being loved we will find love. As soon as we believe in having trust, we will find someone trustworthy. As soon as we believe in someone, they will save us.
As soon as we have someone in our hearts, they have already become real. As soon as we think up a name or a dream or a world, it all becomes reality. Our world is not one of our making, it is a dream that we all wished for when we were nothing but dust. This is our fantasy, so why can't our fantasies be reality? Because people don't believe in us? Because we are different from the rest? Because we shouldn't get a say? Because we are ugly and fat? Because we are who we want to be and they can't handle us? Because they have to be right? Why are we never right? Well, you know what, now our time has come. The time for us to speak out and make a change. It is our chance now to find a new meaning to all we hold dear. It is our time to run.
I say our time to run, but that does not mean run away. That does not mean hide. It does not mean that I am afraid of the enemy ahead. I mean it is our turn to run. Run forward and through the enemy front lines. We shall stare directly at those who taunt us and believe in who we are and the friends we have. I will run, will you join me?
I've always wished for magic. I prayed and dreamed and hoped but it never came. I asked for it yet was never granted it. Now I know why I wasn't. See, magic can be used for good and for bad. It can be created by someone to help others, and it can be created to destroy others. Magic is only given to those who are worthy and none of us are. Nobody who has fought their own battles and cried the tears that they needed to is worthy. We are all still full of hatred and as soon as we are overcome with that feeling, we are not worthy. I wished to save the world, to be acknowledged and to be more powerful than those who were ahead of me. I wanted to show to those who hit me and pushed me down that even someone as worthless and as hopeless as me can be something. That I can be someone. That I can save the world. I wished for magic so that I could be important.
Then I realised, if it's for those reasons, I will never be granted magic. Hero's are granted magic to help, but the only way for me to become a hero is to become stronger. To become kinder. To become a better person. To become a hero I must confront my enemies. I must trust my friends that left me behind. I must love the family that forgot about me. If I am lonely, who can I help? Myself? I need to become my true self and trust in those who have never wanted me. I must believe that there is always hope. I must wish and dream and watch and read. I must believe.
Life will bring trouble. It will push you down and make you beg. It will cause you to cry and laugh and dream and give up. It will cause you to lose people, to lose yourself. It will cause others to throw things at you, to bully you I tot honking you are worthless. Life is a hard road to take, but there is no shortcuts on this road. The people around you are the only ones you can call to, even if you've been crying out for years and nobody has helped you. They are the on,y ones that are there. You must break that sound proof glass in front of you and get them to notice you, be acknowledged like you had always wanted. Be yourself for everything is real and nothing is fantasy. See the faces disappear and watch new ones come. Know that everything isn't perfect for it will never be. Know that the friends you loved will someday leave you behind, and know that they think you're worthless, because everything you know to be true is a lie. You are amazing. You are perfect and you can change the world. Nobody can stop you from becoming a hero. All you have to do is change one persons life, then you will have changed their world. You will have changed the world for them. Doesn't that change you, doesn't that make you a hero. That changes the world for you too. It makes you someone you never thought you could be, someone who has never been loved. It makes you you, someone nobody else can ever be. Isn't that a great thing.
Now you can be what you want in the world you want to live in. Now you can survive. Now you can dream and hope, believe and wish without worry, for the world is yours to change. You are your own hero meaning that you can save yourself from the darkness that you are in. Now you can run towards your enemies with bravery. It is time to run...
Will you run with me?