True to You

Unbreak Me

"But James, who is there to hear them?" Elliot asked softly. He was acutely aware of the way her eyes were trained on the side of his face.

"It doesn't matter if no one hears them Elli. I know they exist. And that's part of what we do. The creativity or love or compassion or determination we had in life that we continue up here kind of bleeds through to where people can see and hear and feel it." He shifted on to his side to look at Elliot. It was important that she could understand what they were capable of. "For whatever it is we can inspire in people we are their muse."

Elliot's hazel eyes locked on his blue ones. "That's a lot of pressure James. I don't know that I can be someone's muse."

Jimmy chuckled. "You don't have to do anything Elli. You just have to be. All the rest just...happens."

"I don't know James. I don't know anything about being a muse. I'm not particularly inspiring." Elliot looked doubtful.

Jimmy snorted. She couldn't be that clueless could she? "Elli. You're fucking crazy if you believe that. You were my fucking muse for years."

Elliot's eyes opened wide and her mouth fell open before she closed it with a snap of her teeth. "If you say so James," she responded in a flat voice.

There was something in her expression he didn't like and he particularly didn't like the way she sat up clutching the sheet to her chest and cast her eyes around the room in a fruitless search for her clothes. He could have told her that she could just think them into being but he didn't want to. He wasn't a fan of the way she was avoiding eye contact. He grabbed her arm above the elbow, firm enough for her to know she wasn't going anywhere but not hard enough to bruise.

"You don't believe me." It wasn't a question.

Elliot gave him an uncertain little laugh. There was more bitterness than mirth in the sound. "There's a lot of evidence to the contrary."

Jimmy's eyebrows pulled in together, creasing his brow. "What the hell does that mean?"

Elliot shook her arm free from his grasp, he could have held on tighter but even knowing that a bruise wouldn't last long he'd long ago decided that wasn't the type of guy he wanted to be, and scrambled from the bed clutching the sheet to her chest.

Elliot's eyes narrowed as she glared at him, "It means that you wasted no time in finding new inspiration when I went to Europe."

What the fuck did that mean? "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means that I'd only been gone two months when you replaced me."

"How did you find that out?" What did she know that he didn't? He realised he could have phrased his question better when she made a sound somewhere between a cough and a hiss.

"My cousin told me about your new girlfriend." Elliot struggled to wrap the sheet around her body. If he wasn't so confused Jimmy would have deeply appreciated the way the cotton clung and draped over her figure.

"Brian?" When she responded with a jerky nod he let out a huff of frustration. "When did you even talk to Brian? Because he sure as fuck never told me! And for the record I might have partied hard after you left but I never touched another girl. At least not until I found out that the promises we made meant shit to you." Jimmy was so furious his hands were shaking. Wow, I forgot what being angry felt like.

"Don't lie James." Elliot's hands were clutched in fists as she wrapped her arms around her waist. Even through the fury that filled him he could sense her uncertainty.

"I've already told you Elli, I've never lied to you. And guess what? That wasn't a lie either." Jimmy ripped the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around his waist. He felt at a decided disadvantage with his dick hanging out.

"I really don't want to believe you." Tears filled Elliot's eyes. Damn Jimmy hated how that kept happening. He knew deep down he was still a sucker for her because at the first sign of her tears as quickly as it rose his fury abated. "Why would Brian tell me that if it wasn't true?" Elliot pleaded.

"Because Brian's head was up his own ass back then, I don't fucking know! He'd managed to get Michelle back into the hook-up zone and he wanted a wingman. I was miserable without you and he tried to cheer me up by throwing chicks in my direction." Jimmy walked around the bed toward Elliot and grasping her wrist he drew her down to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. "Is that why you went off and hooked up with some other guy - had his kid - because of the kind of shit that Brian used to spout off in all his teenage douchery? I mean we were all assholes at times but sometimes Brian elevated it to an art form."

Elliot slumped beside him looking defeated. The bleakness in her eyes tore at his heart. He wanted to punch Brian but he knew deep down that their break-up – if it could even be called that – wasn't Brian's fault. Sure Brian had spoken carelessly but he hadn't been malicious, just young. After all if Jimmy and Elliot hadn't made their stupid agreement in the first place it wouldn't have mattered what Brian said.

Jimmy griped her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. "It was a long time ago Elli but I promise you I never lied to you. I was in love with you. Tell me you believe me."

"I believe you," Elliot whispered as she slumped slowly sideways onto the bed the wrist still in Jimmy's grasp dragging her arm across her body. "Fuck!" she screamed into the pillow. Tentatively Jimmy followed her down and stretched out bedside her, his front to her back.

The lay in silence until, still facing away from him, Elliot spoke and said, "I really want to hate Brian but I can't. We spent that entire summer fucking with each other, and even if he said what he did on purpose, I don't think he had any idea what he was doing. No the person I really hate right now is me. I fucked up. I broke your trust. And I'm the one who made the stupidest decision in the history of stupid decisions. Shit James, if you knew what I did, what I really did, you'd hate me too."

Jimmy pressed on her shoulder to roll her to her back and traced the tear running down her cheek with the tip of one finger. "Elli," he said as he wiped away the moisture on her face and then kissed his way down the path it had taken. "I could never hate you. I was hurt, devastated even, but even though I never wanted to see you or hear your name again I didn't hate you. I hated what you did to us but I didn't hate you." I curled her in close and tucked her head under his chin.

He felt as much as he heard her next words as she whispered against his collar bone, "But you should James. You really should."