soft - woosan

chapter 25

san didn't try going back to their dorm room. he tried not to worry. he stayed in hyunjin's dorm, who's roommate (minho) was ditching him for an unnamed friend who may or may not have been rumoured to be han jisung.

just a haunch.

he mostly hung out with hyunjin, pretending to be okay and smiling more then he usually did. fake it till you make it, right?

today, he just sat at his desk in english, head laid on the hard surface, eyes fluttering open and shut, exhausted as he had been for the last few days.

he watched as students filed in, chattering among themselves and paying him no more attention than they usually did.

san's eyes followed each individual, finding himself wondering about them. were they happy? did they listen to the same song he recently enjoyed? did their eyes skim the same articles flared on his phone that he did late at night?

were they faking their smiles, like he was? were they liars like wooyoung and san both found themselves to be? or victims like they both were, too? or were they just neutral, trying to get through every day like every one else?

he could never know. he could only wonder. he wondered if wooyoung was okay, too.

wondered if his boyfriend missed him when he slept alone, half of the bed cold where san had lain only recently.

he doubted it. but he could hope and wonder.

when felix entered and looked straight at san, he averted his eyes, trying to ignore the concerned expression the australian boy wore.

san could only imagine his current appearance, not having slept since leaving wooyoung that day, not bothering with a hairbrush or a mirror.

no doubt sunken features and rings darker than his soul and deeper than his thoughts were his most prominent look, which topped off with little food and an oversized hoodie really made him look like a low budget homeless kid.

he brushed felix off when the boy attempted to speak to him, plugging his earphones in and closing his eyes. san wanted the other to believe he was okay.

if everyone else believed that, maybe he would too.

and he nearly did, except for the little factor of wooyoung sauntering into the classroom looking like a walking corpse and wearing a sickening grin that turned san's stomach.

the boy wordlessly sat himself in the chair furtherest from san's, his smile morphing into sadness as soon as he laid eyes upon the sleep deprived older.

wooyoung stared at him the whole lesson, making him increasingly uncomfortable, especially when the bell sounded the end and he left the room after walking straight past san without a word.

"what's up with you two?" felix dared to question, eyebrows drawn together in puzzlement.

san shrugged, pretending to be clueless. "who knows, 'lix." the nickname slipped without even thinking about it, causing him to wince and turn away, but felix just smiled softly, linking his arm with san's.

"maybe it's time we talked to yeosang. he should apologise for how he's been acting." felix suggested, both surprising and warming san.