So after not only another long couple of weeks working on moving out of this shoebox of a house i'm in (mostly paperwork and formalities, won't bother you with "all" the details) i have returned to administer another dose of the legendary tale of Britfag.
We had last left off with my post being removed inexplicably and being posted to my drive and wattpad the unholy trinity trying to fedorafag my at the time F.W.B only to be grilled before homeroom.
and now the continuation, as always, links will be below, follow up post to come should it be removed yet again.
Google drive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1so8lWIF0B84qeOCA_6pq7qd-Mk2sM8xkAPSpxGM7DJg/edit?usp=sharing
Be me
Be Later into the day of chapter 1.
Be at work in the village
Helping Bosslady on the counters with the rest of my peers
Getting asked for mates rates and the employee discount
TF you think this place is? a texaco?
Be about halfway done with the lines when a squad of weebtards cut the line and barge into the store.
whyme.merch
Hear tonnes of people in line complaining about the tards, both for their ignorance and poor hygene.
Need to solve this problem quickly.
thinkfast.brain
Find a raffle ticket book under the counter
Problem solved
Take the book and tell the boss to start reading out numbers from 1 to 100
Pass tickets out to each customer/ group of customers
Completely ignore the tards
theydontsuspectathing.tac
Come back about 10 minutes later, half the line is already gone.
Tards are still there stood by the counter, redder than the cherry balsams.
feelssweet.meme
Closing time rolls around
Weebtards are still there
Weebtards are still red
Weebtards be cucked as we're putting the jars away when one speaks up
"GyIh! W-wAiT We WeReNt SeRvEd"
By sithis this creature is capable of cohesive statements!
Be More capable, clap back with "You weren't in line, nor did you have a ticket.
Tard protocols engaged: check argument, check criteria, line=0, ticket=0, boolean error p07470; engaging failsafe
"I wAnT cAnDy!"
Tard goes to grab one of the displays.
Bosslady is in the back putting the jars in place
Time to do what Britfags do best
Vault over the counter and grab the sweepingbrush
stickemwiththepointyend.westeros
TF was that?
Don't be westerosi, be britfaggy
Joust this motherfucker out the door
Nat 20
Tard doesn't even see the brush coming and gets knocked out the front and gets the wind knocked out of him.
1down2togo.tenno
Tards rage and charge me.
Their spatial awareness be whack yo!
Sidestep them
Tards pile onto their leader like tards
outplayed.souls
Shut and lock the front door like a boss
Not the boss as Bosslady walks in and thanks me for getting rid of those hangarounds.
Praises me for thinking ahead and providing tickets for the customers
Britfag: be praised!
Help Bosslady finish closing, bring the shutters down on the front, tards are long gone.
Grab my bike and ride back home.
YOU ARE READING
The Britfag Saga
Non-FictionA tale of intrigue, bloodshed, war and tarddom for the ages, come on a journey through time, space and chromesomes as i recount the days of yore, when i was but a young boy with anger management issues and raging hormones.
