After my close call with the cretinous commandant of our school I took time to slow down, now with all of my information, I could do some real damage inside and out of school hours, I went to a local computer hardware shop and bought a case full of the cheapest usb sticks i could buy, big enough to hold all of the porn fuckpuppet had watched.
I also bought a full pack of paper and enough envelopes to mail the entire school, fuckpuppet tore down my work, Now i was going to tear off his mask and expose him.
Be The britfag
Be awake earlier than normal
Leave a note letting my folks know I was going in earlier than usual to help a friend who hadn't completed his homework.
Take 1 train and a bus to the other side of the city, get to school 1 hour before classes began
Was wearing my "disguise" all the way there, sneak in through one of the doors with a dodgy mag-lock.
With only 1 hour to do my dirty deeds in I acted with the Speed of a cheetah and the righteous fury of a paladin driven berserk with holy wrath!
letters were slipped in through the vents on locker doors, printouts of fuckpuppet's browsing history, his correspondence with the expelled student's families, even screenshots of the tards sabbotaging the 2nd floor central bathroom, were plastered all over the school's lockers, by the time the lockers had been papered with anti-tard propaganda it was 10 minutes before the school officially opened.
Be me, Britfag "the Edgy avenger"
Just finished exposing fuckpuppet
1 task left.
Go to the offices of each deputy and the principal
Leave an envelope on each of their desks with a black handprint on the front
Have another close shave with the principal as he sees me perched on the ledge
Masked to the nines & looking right at him when I speak in my best edgelord voice
"I see everything"
Fuckin' batman out of the window, grab the bridge's ledge and drop down from a more tolerable height, book it out of school fast
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Retreat to my forest hideaway across the way and don my uniform before returning to the building with the rest of my peers
Everyone is laughing themselves into an aneurysm
Whole crowds of people in hysterics as they read the propaganda
Principal fuckpuppet is livid, Deputies are horrified, Teachers are all having a good giggle about it
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A few members of the roundtable asked me if i did this
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I'm pretty sure the squad knew it was me, nobody else had the balls to do something this batshit.
Just as we were about to head to form the whole school was summoned for another emergency assembly by fuckpuppet
Tards and all
Fuckpuppet as i'm sure you all knew by now, had a raging hard on for overly dramatizing anything bad that happened to him or his precious fucking tards.
When everyone was in he opened with:"I'm sure you all know why you've been called in for an assembly this morning. it's been plastered all over the walls"Yeah no shit...
"I would like to first begin by stating for the records that what you have seen is entirely untrue and that there is a full investigation into this vile attack on my reputation, I am not a degenerate!"
the usual suspects, myself included, simply sat there and smirked to one another as we knew a politician's cover-up act when we saw it
"And when the culprit has been found, I will be pressing charges and they will be expelled! This masked marauder has invaded the sanctity of my school twice now without repercussion, any information that leads to his capture and arrest will be rewarded. There will now be mandatory daily locker searches until the culprit is found, if anyone has anything to say or the culprit wants to reveal themselves now they may do so."
There was a deafening silence over the auditorium until i stepped forward:"i've got something to say about this."I then lightly squatted and ripped the fattest gasser (a fart) that school had ever heard
A full on 20 seconds of me simply unleashing the beast from below into the room as loudly and aggressively as I could
It clapped my cheeks so hard I was feeling a bit sore afterwards, but it was so worth.
As much as people were repulsed by the act, it was a legendary happenstance that had people laughing for the rest of the year.
It earned me a whole day in isolation.
Still worth it.
So there I sat for a full day having my lessons brought to me in paper form with one of the deputies sat behind me, watching me.
"so uh... this dude who's been goin' around causin' chaos? what do you know about him teach?"
Deputy tells me to shut up and keep doing my work.
Lunch time rolls around and the deputy goes out to have his lunch in the dining hall with the rest of the animals.
I however, had to keep an urgent appointment.Alighting from my position i ducked into the bathrooms right next door, there i was met with a throng of horny niggers, asians, pakis and white kids.
For you see r/tardtales, When I took data from fuckpuppet's computer, which was still at this time out of commission, I had taken all of his porn too, which i then copied onto the cheep hard-drives i had purchased.
The letters i had posted to everyone was about getting access to fuckpuppet's "personal" porn stash.
In those 5 minutes alone i had earned myself £50 in the sale of my porn-sticks.
These were times when twitch and snapchat thots didn't exist
It was a better time, a simpler time.
With my ill gotten gains acquired i made myself scarce.
Over the space of 20 minutes i had visited every active bathroom and sold my porn-laced data-sticks, landing myself a fat pay packet.
I then returned to isolation with 10 minutes to spare before the deputy got back
Got out after lunch for "good behaviour"
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Chill with drummerboi and lad in geog and then with riot and rebellion in chem-lab before kicking out time.
By the time we left there were still a few pieces of my smear campaign left on the lockers, some students even took them as mementos
More would come tomorrow.
March off out of school with my head held high and with a massive shit-eating grin on my face.
To close off I will now reveal to you what was in the black hand marked envelopes i posted to the principal and his deputies.
Inside of them was a USB stick with the cropped down footage of the tards destroying the bathroom, alongside a sheet of paper with the words "Who are the real victims of your leader's decisions?" ~ The listener.
YOU ARE READING
The Britfag Saga
Non-FictionA tale of intrigue, bloodshed, war and tarddom for the ages, come on a journey through time, space and chromesomes as i recount the days of yore, when i was but a young boy with anger management issues and raging hormones.
