Parks and Prejudice (Ben and Leslie | Parks and Rec)

Chapter 9

AN:  This is more of a character development chapter.  I'm sorry that it's really long (and probably boring)... I don't normally write long chapters except with this story. I think I like babbling in Leslie's voice too much. I hope you enjoy this anyway.  Thank you again for all the hits and kudos and comments, I really appreciate that you guys are sticking around for this.

 

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If I drown myself with enough studying, sometimes it distracts me from the events that conspired in the past weeks.

 

 

It helps me forget a certain dark-haired boy whose smile was as rare as seeing Pawnee on the list of top 100 best towns to visit in America. And when the memories come creeping up on me, I just recited the Preamble to the Constitution, and I imagine I'm reciting this in front of the senate, it gets me really into the scene and I forget the most embarrassing moment of my life.

 

 

But when the night hits and the lights are off and I can't use studying as an excuse and then I forget the words to the constitution, that's when the feelings just flow through me. His face pops up in my brain. And I start feeling like a stupid idiot that believed the worst of Ben. He may have been a jerk when I first met him, but when I looked back at some of the times that we talked to each other, he wasn't so bad. I just chose to ignore it because I was too caught up with my first impression of him.

 

 

Ugh, this is the reason why for the past few days, I have not been sleeping well.  Usually around midnight, while I stared at my ceiling, my mind just kept replaying everything. I've practically memorized Ben's letter by now and his last paragraph never failed to shatter my heart into a million pieces over and over. And basically, whatever might have been the future of our relationship was very likely gone now.

 

 

He probably hates my guts.  How could he not hate me? I yelled at him and told him what an awful human being he was.

 

 

But really, who was I kidding? It would have never worked out between us. He should just respect his family's wishes and I should just focus on school.  I shouldn't feel miserable. I should be happy that I dodged a bullet. But the question is, why didn't I feel happy?

 

 

Okay, I really needed to focus right now though. I was standing with a crowd of volunteers waiting for our assignments. We were preparing for the annual University Fair to be held at Freedom Park next weekend. And as part of the scholarship program I was in, I had to do volunteer work for school events.

 

 

In front of us was the event manager holding the list of names and handing out assignments. He was an older looking boy, probably just got out of college. When he called my name and I raised my hand, he gave me a look that took more than a few seconds and then said that he was going to get back to me after he handed out everyone's tasks. I shrugged and wondered what that was about.

 

 

When everyone else dispersed to go find their booths, the boy approached me. I think his name was Henry. I really wasn't paying much attention earlier, which has been happening often lately since I can't seem to keep Ben's letter out of my mind.