Island Vibes

33. too late

I stood up before either of them could stop me and, with my purse clutched in my hand, I wove my way out of the bar at the speed of light. 

This had gone so horribly wrong. I was unsteady on my feet and the way I was hurrying only made it worse – I tripped in the doorway and had to brush a hand away that had shot out to hold my arm and keep me upright.

I was a mess, and I felt like life on the island was only going to get messier.

I stumbled around to the side of the building, looking out at the road, and leaned up against it. Sucking in a few deep breaths, everything got the best of me and my eyes began to well up. My cheeks burned because I didn't want to be upset – I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to have said what I said, I didn't want any of this to have happened – but it was happening anyway.

Eventually, I shuffled my feet forward and let myself slide down the wall, snorting a sad, wet laugh as I went. This was too much. It was like I was in a rom-com, but there was no rom or com involved anymore.

I was pissed at Noah for what he'd said – and for kissing me, to begin with – and I knew this was his fault, at the end of the day. I'd given him time, I'd told him to talk to his girlfriend. Some small part of me still felt bad for letting the truth come out like this though, especially when it probably sounded to Melissa like we'd been having a whole fling behind her back.

She was the one I really felt for, honestly.

I wasn't sure whether or not Noah would be able to explain to her that it really hadn't been anything real. It was him freaking out about his future, and me having a dumb schoolgirl crush. She didn't have to worry about me. She just needed to worry about Noah. What did he want? What if he left the island? They'd always seemed so happy, and they were so good together. It'd ruin everything.

Maybe I'd already ruined everything.

God, this was a disaster. I was still crying, this whole pathetic situation was swimming around in my brain, and my heart hurt because I knew it had to be a nasty conversation they were having inside.

It was dark out, but the lights strung around the building were keeping me lit, and I became vaguely aware of the fact that I could probably be seen having this breakdown from the road, where cars were whizzing past. I blinked up and watched them drive by for a few moments through my bleary eyes, trying to distract myself.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been sat there, but I realized I'd zoned out entirely when a voice from beside me startled me.

"Apologize," Melissa barked.

I sniffled and turned to look up at her, my mouth already sputtering out apologetic syllables. "Mel—I'm, I'm so--"

"Not you," she said, her tone softening, a sigh in her voice. "You," she said, sharpening up again.

I looked to her left. Noah was stood there, shoulders slumped. He looked sheepish, his right hand gripping his left upper arm.

"Sorry," he mumbled. There was a little pause, and I blinked between him and Melissa. He seemed to gather himself before he kept talking. "I shouldn't have kissed you, and I shouldn't have led you on," he admitted. "I've been freaking the fuck out lately, and I haven't been doing right by either of you."

Melissa swayed and nudged into his side. "He's an idiot," she muttered, and although she sounded less than pleased with him, there was something affectionate in her expression still.

"I'm an idiot," Noah repeated, surprisingly serious as he nodded down at me. "I don't know what I want," he said, turning to look at his girlfriend. "But I know I love you," he said. 

Melissa gave him a small, honest smile in return. Then he looked down at me. "And I know I care about you," he admitted. "I didn't want to make you upset."

I made a funny noise that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh. "Too late," I teased, wiping at my eyes.

Noah laughed, the sound sharp – like he hadn't expected it to come out of his mouth. "I'm so sorry," he nodded. "I'm just... sorry. I have a lot to figure out."

Melissa kissed him on the cheek, and some of the tension in Noah's body seemed to disappear. She then stretched a hand out to me, offering to help me get to my feet. "C'mon," she said, hauling me up once I'd slipped my hand into hers. "Don't be too upset. He's just a guy," she said, rolling her eyes before grinning to show she was just kidding.

I glanced over at the guy, watching him smile shyly down at the ground, amused by his girlfriend. Maybe things weren't quite fixed, but at least they were out in the open. Noah seemed capable of breathing again, and Melissa seemed mostly okay with the situation. She seemed to understand Noah much better than I ever had. I supposed she'd had more practice, though.

"You know what?" Melissa asked, stepping in a little closer, as if maybe she had a secret to tell me.

Except, then Melissa didn't lean over to whisper into my ear – she leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips instead.

I felt one of her hands at the back of my neck, delicately holding me close, and I realized-- this didn't feel weird. Maybe I was too drunk, maybe I was emotionally wasted, but for some reason, I didn't fight it. I kind of laughed, surprised, as I leaned into it.

Before I could overthink it, Melissa pulled back, a small smile hooking up the corners of her mouth. Then she kind of frowned, nodding. "Alright," she said, and I almost blushed. Her tone was telling me she was impressed, and that was a compliment I hadn't been prepared for – especially since I hadn't even been prepared for the kiss.

"There," she said, looking back at Noah. She took a step closer to him and reached down for his free hand, lacing her fingers with his. "You got to kiss Callie, I got to kiss Callie, Callie got to kiss us," she grinned, as if proud of herself for sorting it out. "Now we're all even."