A Crush

Chapter 34

01.05.1989 - New York

Half a year later

Richie's point of view

Why? That was the only question which I had as I walked into Jonny's dressing room a few days ago, seeing him fucking that chick on the floor. I couldn't believe my eyes for a moment, but soon enough I heard both of their loud moans which told me that I was seeing the reality in front of me. My lover was desperately moaning out the name of that damn chick, it was something like 'My babe Dorothea' I think. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I wasn't enough for him. I was a terrible boyfriend. I had done everything wrong. In shock I wanted to leave again, but then I saw that twinkling thing on Jon's finger. It was a ring. And I hadn't bought it for him. As I saw the same ring on that chick's finger too, I let out a loud gasp. They were married. Married. Jon had married a girl without saying goodbye to me, his boyfriend for two fucking years now. That hurt. That fucking hurt. Everything I had done for him, every damn song I wrote for him flew through my mind, causing it to hurt even more. And that was when I started to run. To run away from that damn room with my lover in it. Well, now ex- lover.

By now, I was laying on the bed in my hotel room, staring at the ceiling and downing one whiskey bottle after another. I thought this would be a good tour, but I was wrong. The love of my life had married a woman. Without saying anything, no goodbye and not even an information about the wedding. My heart was pounding heavily in my chest, my loud breath ringing in my ears because of the damn silence. That goddamn silence. I didn't want to live anymore. The reason of my life was gone, he was now in his hotel room together with his wife. I had promised him, back in 1987, that I would buy him an engagement ring and would ask him to marry me, but I was too slow. My eyelids finally got heavy, because of the three whiskey bottles which were lodged in my head and the rivers of desperate tears I had cried. All of those tears were calling Jon's name, hoping it was all a dream. But it wasn't.

We were touring the world with our new record New Jersey for almost half a year now, and there had happened so much in that period of time. First Doc had found out about our hidden relationship and had told us not to have any contact like that again because of the record company. We were broken, both of us. After each show we could just look at each other with a weak smile and then head of to our separate hotel rooms. No kiss, no hug, nothing. It was hard, but I somehow managed to get through it. I thought Jon managed too, but then I saw him fucking that girl a few days ago. His wife.