Bathe in Color

52. Paris Wills, Age 16, August 24, 2019

"I don't know," I whisper softly in his ear, and that's when Gray realizes that I'm not talking about school supplies.

With the blink of an eye, Gray turns toward me and presses his lips up against mine before swiftly pulling away, a translucent trail of saliva drifting away from my quivering red mouth. I look into Gray's sparkling emerald eyes and he flashes me a quick wink before swinging our shopping cart toward the cashier. My mouth is aghast, shocked at Gray's horrendous teasing.

I can't wait to take him home. 

***

Gray's parents aren't home when we return. They've slipped away to Palm Springs for a weekend anniversary trip, which gives us plenty of time to ourselves. Of course, my house is almost always free. Except, I'd rather not spend time there. There's too many phantom memories threatening to creep out from the chipping paint to haunt us.

Gray fumbles with the key, his fingers trembling as he tries to fit it into the keyhole. A nervousness consumes his veins every time he returns home, the sense of emptiness lingering. He knows that nobody is waiting to greet him on the other side of the door, not anymore. It'll take years before that feeling of loss dissipates. Gray grew up coming home to Tessa's precious smiling face, her long pink tongue licking at his feet and begging for somebody to cuddle or play tug-a-war with.

It's important that I'm here with Gray whenever he arrives home. Some times are easier than others. We had a good day today, amusing ourselves at the store and singing Lady Gaga on the car ride home, the first time since Tessa's death. Gray's beginning to heal, but moments like returning to an empty home are still tender.

Pulling him away from the entryway, I take his hand and lead him upstairs. We settle on the bedroom floor, laying out all the school supplies. To keep his mind from dwelling on the sadness, I pull out my phone and queue up some music.

"Where'd we leave off on Gaga?" Gray asks with a little chuckle, organizing the school supplies into neat little piles.

"A Star is Born. Shall we blast it for the neighbors to hear?"

"Why not?" Gray proclaims with a smirk.

We never finished watching A Star is Born the first time Gray tried to show it to me, but I watched it on my own and it brought me to tears. It wasn't just Lady Gaga's riveting vocals that left me speechless, but also the fantastic chemistry between Ally and Jack. Their love was hauntingly beautiful, an infinite bond one could only dream of. I can't believe I finally have that kind of bond, and I hope it never breaks.

"Always Remember Us This Way" plays first, our favorite song from the movie. We've sung it on numerous occasions. Whenever Gray and I are apart, I play the first few lines of the song and sing along, and it almost feels like Gray's holding me in his arms. Our relationship immortalized with a song, reminding me of the way our unlikely friendship became an unimaginable love affair.

The sun begins to descend over the horizon, its tangerine rays bleeding into the room like a blazing wildfire. Gray's green eyes take on an extraordinary hazel hue in this light, and I can't help but reach my hand out to caress his cheek, gently pulling at his scruffy blond chin so that his eyes lock with mine. A rosy color overcomes his face, transfigured by my touch. He looks radiant, an incandescent desire rising in his burning eyes, and I want to taste his bubblegum lips.

"When you kissed me in the store..."

"Yeah?" Gray responds.

"...You made me feel like I belong; like we belong."