His Victoria (renewed)

37

"What are you drawing?" I asked as I watched her drawing something carefully. It looks like a fish, but then again it has a pair of hands which are holding a muffin.

She glanced up at me and smiled before she focused back on her drawing, "It's a kangaroo."

I raised my eyebrows, not expecting that answer and nodded slowly. Then I continued my own drawing. I was drawing a big motorbike which I've always dreamed of having. But I never bought it because, believe it or not, I don't know how to ride one.

Don't judge me on this but not only a motorbike, I even don't know how to ride a bicycle. I've never learned how to ride it. But I think if there are four wheels on it, then I know how.

All of a sudden I felt like the world is crushing down when I heard Victoria's groans indicating that she's in pain.

I looked up just to see her struggling to breathe. "Lu-Luca-" She tried to say my name but couldn't as she gasped for air. I stood up quickly and did the obvious, I called an ambulance and shouted for her family.

The three of them came rushing towards her and Mikayla was already in the verge of tears. The ambulance arrived and they took her with Mikayla. While Carter, Jackson and I followed them closely with my car, since I already started its engine first before Carter did to his car. I kept chanting for her to be okay as I drove fast towards the hospital.

After we've arrived, I immediately rushed towards the emergency room and saw Mikayla pacing around the hall as she bit her thumb. Carter went to her and hugged her as if his life depended on it, whispering assuring words to her. Jackson also went, but he stood still beside them, as if he's focusing on something real hard.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I too started to pace back and forth. I really hope she's okay. She can't be not okay, I haven't told her anything yet. She should be okay. She has to be.

After standing there for what felt like a decade, the door to the emergency room finally got opened revealing a doctor and some nurses behind him. They were having scowls on their faces, making my stomach churned in worry.

We instantly went to him, except for Jackson who seemed fully distracted. He must be very worried about his sister.

"Doctor, how's my baby?" Mikayla asked.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Carter chimed in.

I just frowned as I looked at the doctor's face, almost like daring him to say something bad. The doctor took notice of me and gulped before he turned his attention towards Victoria's parents.

"She's okay," both of them sighed in relief, "for now." He finished.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked. I felt Jackson walking near me, now fully alerted.

The doctor sighed, "We need to perform a surgery on her quickly so we could remove as much of the tumour as possible before it spreads much more than it already has, followed by chemoradiation."

I was starting to get impatient, "Then what are you waiting for? Do it!" I demanded. I don't care if I sounded rude, I just want my love to be okay.

The doctor raised his hand at me, as if telling me to be patient and let him finish. "But in her case, doing this treatment is risky as the tumour is spreading fast, much faster than usual. Due to this treatment, there are two things that's possible to happen,"

My heart was beating fast as I waited for him to continue. My breathing became harsher as each second passed. My jaws kept clenching and unclenching.

"Whether she'll pass during the surgery, or she'll survive, and can finally live the life that she always dreams of."

***

We are now sitting in front of Victoria's hospital room as we're waiting for her to wake up. Jackson and I sat side by side while her parents are sitting far from us, discussing something in a whisper.

As I was staring into spaces, Jackson spoke up from beside me, "What do you think is the best decision?"

I let out a heavy sigh and shook my head. Honestly, I don't know. This is the first time in my life where I don't know how to decide on something. It's like my brain is stuck.

I feel useless.

If we let her be, then she'll die four months from now. If we do the surgery, the risk of her dying during it is too big. But if the surgery succeed, she can finally live the life she wants without worrying about this stupid tumour and we can finally be happy together for the rest of our lives.

Suddenly I heard Jackson chuckled, "Big sis is like that, too." He said making me look at him with a confused expression.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He smiled, "She always thinks too much. Like you, just now."

I nodded in understanding before asking him, "Well, what do you think is the best decision?"

He leaned backwards towards the chair he's sitting on and stared at the wall in front of him, "I think it's better to not do the surgery."

I couldn't help but ask as the curiosity beat me, "Why?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "By that, we won't be having fake hopes."

The silence consumed our surroundings as we both stopped talking and just stared ahead. Both with heavy thoughts inside our minds.

"I remember that time when Vicky begged dad to let her stay at our old house." He started again, making me give my whole attention to him. I swear, it doesn't matter if I have so many works to finish, if someone's opening a conversation about her, I'd still stop whatever I'm doing just to listen to her story.

"I saw her face. Her eyes told me everything. Even though all she told dad was she wanted to graduate with her friends, I know she's actually afraid to let them go. She's afraid to let everything go. The memories.. Even though she acts as if she's alright all the time, even though she acts as if dying doesn't scare her, she's actually afraid to go."