Old Man

One

Unknown Number: Hey Bird Boy where the hell is the lube for my arm

Me:Ummmm Bird Boy?🤔 and lube? For your arm???

Unknown Number: Yeah that's your nickname dumbass😂
Unknown Number:Where is my lube for real
Unknown Number: Am I texting and using ummm these digitalized facial stickers right I'm trying to remember what Shuri taught me

Me: OK look hoe idk who you callin a dumbass but it sure as hell ain't me and I sure as hell don't know where your lube it which FYI is probably just for you to jack off your itty bitty meat
Me:also don't worry your texting right. Just a heads up the "digitalized facial stickers" and called emojis

Unknown Number: Sam calm down I'm sorry damn and my meat ain't small I just bought that 5 pound steak thank you very much

Me: ummmmmmm ok that's not what it means and I think you've got the wrong number bud

Unknown Number: Wait so is this Sam or not?

Me: This ain't Sam bud

Unknown Number: So who is this

Me: A random dude you texted by accident

Unknown Number: Oh I'm so sir

Me:...

Unknown Number:?

Me: I'm a chick

Unknown Number: My sincere apology ma'am I will leave you alone know

Me: Wait no I'm intrigued so I'm trying to figure out if your a pubescent teenager with somewhat good grammar who's just getting a phone for the first time or an old man trying to figure out texting who's granddaughter who I'm guessing could be Shuri showed them how to use technology while they visited?

Unknown Number: Ummmmmm your not wrong but your wrong I'm an adult and not good at technology

Me: So how old are you then bro?

Unknown Number: Technically 30 I guess

                                      Me: Ok that's totally what a pedophile like old man would say I'm suspicious

Unknown Number: I'm not that old trust me and either way how old are you how do I not know your a old lady

                                      Me: uh huh buddy and I'm old enough to smoke that's all you need to know even tho I don't smoke

Unknown Number: And you said the way I told my age is suspicious

                                   Me: Hey I'm just sayin I'm a legal adult man...just don't act like one

Unknown Number: How do I not know your a pedophile old lady?

 
                                  Me: Well just trust me that I'm not an old lady and I've gotta go I've got a job

Unknown Number: At 12:00 am?

                                         Me: Night shift bud

Unknown Number: Oh