Misdirected

Chapter 1 - Unloading A Burden

It only took Sonja Percy a few days back in Country to realize that she was in trouble. She had put off so much in her psych eval. In fact she had pushed Christopher LaSalle totally out of her mind for about a quick minute. LaSalle was the third of the failures of men in her life not including Jake Roman from two years ago.

She brainstormed and remembered that NCIS had a new head shrink who arrived just before she left that agency. She gave the office a call and found out that the counselor's name was a Jacqueline Sloane. "Hello Agent Sloane? My name is Sonja. I work for the FBI. I was wondering if I could stop by your office to speak with you.

"Certainly Sonja. How soon would you be available?"

"Any time after tomorrow" Percy replied.

Percy hardly slept Wednesday night. She had no idea where to begin to rationally explain to a person she never met the depth of her confusion. She knew that she needed someone. The someone that she could not find a year ago when she finally saw her life going off the rails. Two long flights on an airplane with nowhere to escape to allow her to think, focus, think and focus. She had taken a step and finally wrote Christopher LaSalle. She was realizing that she probably had told him more than she should but what was done was done. Now three weeks later she literally ran to her mail box. Seeing nothing there she went upstairs and turned on her computer where she could access both her personal and government e-mail accounts. Nothing. Nothing she repeated to herself again. She picked up her government cell phone that she had retrieved from her safe when she stored her weapon. Nothing there either.

The pain became more apparent. Nothing from him? She was devastated.

While she had to enter NCIS through the main, secured entrance, she knew that there were back elevators up to the third level where Agent Sloane's office was located.

She quickly entered the outer door and sat down as directed. Agent Sloane appeared precisely at 10 a.m. as scheduled. "Agent Percy" she asked as she extended her hand? I'm Agent Sloane but please just call me 'Jack'. Won't you come in?"

An hour later it was clear that Percy had spoken as much as she would be able to do that day.

"Well, Agent Percy I will be honest. I usually limit my caseload to NCIS employees but I think that since you were previously a department employee and the fact that you were injured while associated with us, that I can justify seeing you. EAP does require me to contact your supervisor. Seeing the shocked looked on Percy's face 'Jack' quickly adds, but I will note that your referral is being monitored by the 'Director' leaving everything in house at NCIS.

"Are there better days or times that we could visit?"

"Well most days when I am in Country and evenings. However I would rather not come here. I'm concerned that someone might recognize me."

"Well how about Walter Reed" 'Jack' replied. I could reserve some time there and the train ride or drive out there might provide you some minutes to relax. Let's start with 2 two hour sessions for a couple of weeks.

It was apparent that Sonja Percy had had a challenging life.  Her near death and the death of her dearest friend, her parents' divorce and the horrible men in her teenage years might have defeated anyone else but she overcame much of the sorrow. She excelled in her government training and was an excellent marksman. She was not only physically quick on her feet but always seemed to be two steps ahead of her foes. Her first assignment included a partner name Jake. She knew he always wanted to make their interaction personal, but she knew better plus she wasn't about to get tied down.

Her next assignment was undercover. How the hours could be worse was beyond her understanding. She was lonely and it allowed her to let her guard down. She became physically involved with a guy on the outskirts of the mission. She really did like Ramon and he took good care of her. It would only be years later she revealed to 'Jack' that he was deep in the shit of that mission. He was ready to kill her too but was stopped by one of her team mates. That was one of the worse reveals in her short life. He had been responsible for the deaths of several innocent people.

It seemed that the tears never stopped flowing. No longer a lone wolf as she described herself, she found herself growing attached to her new team mates particularly the woman. She had never worked with women that close in the business and she found Brody to be a great confident and very kick ass agent. Merrie Brody was replaced by another woman who became more like a sister than a team mate. There was nothing she wouldn't do for Tammy. And it was here she explained that she met 'Country Mouse'. We were partners and often butting heads but to be honest, she said, she never trusted anyone like she did him. The longer they were together the more fluid it became between the two of them. She learned his every move. He only needed to move his eyes or tilt is head and she knew exactly which way to go. They often mirrored talked when in conversation. "It was downright spooky" she said.

"But tell me about him" 'Jack' said.

"I don't where to start. He had this swagger about him. He saved my life on our very first mission together."

"He had a difficult time in the business as well and his personal life was an absolute disaster. At first he wanted to pursue a relationship then six months later I did. I wanted to die when he pushed me away. Then I got really angry at his rejection. I finally reached the point where I couldn't take it anymore and looked for a way out. I met a FBI supervisor and he was so impressed with an assignment that I did with him that he recommended me for job at the agency.

It wasn't even a month before I realized that I probably shouldn't have left that quick. I should have worked harder on Country Mouse to see if we could have put something together.

"I was scared enough on my first mission. I began to second guess my choice in the job and sat down and wrote several 'I love/miss you/apology letters. One was to Country Mouse. I was hoping that we could talk when I got back in country. He never replied. It tore me up for a week and that is when I realized that I was in trouble and called you.

Sonja only needed to come back for one extra session after the initial set. She could tell she was feeling better. She was back to singing nearly everywhere and found herself enjoying the fresh air and the birds singing in the morning.