The Light Within [Completed]

Just Like Old Times - Part 1

Solveigh clung to her friend like a lifeline, and all those tears she had been holding in for weeks came pouring out. She sobbed until she physically didn't have anything left. For a long time, even after the tears had dried, Sol and Cat just held onto each other silently. At last, Cat took a shaky breath.

"Oh, Sol," she said in a hoarse whisper, "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too," Sol whispered back," And... and I'm so, so, so sorry for... being so horrible to you. I shouldn't have driven you away." She sniffed back more tears. "I was just so... so... I don't know. I couldn't... face anyone." She trailed off, not knowing how to say what she meant.

Cat didn't hesitate. "I'm not angry with you, Sol, not now. I'll admit, at first I didn't understand why you were refusing to see me, or anyone else. I... was so scared. When you hit the ground, we... we could hear the crack. Oh, god... I thought you were dead." Cat was quiet for a minute, and Sol could feel her trembling. Finally she took a deep breath and continued.

"We called the hospital and your parents. I waited with you until the ambulance came, but they wouldn't let any of us go with you. No one told us anything. It wasn't until the next day that your mom called and said you were still alive. I wanted to see you so bad, but they said no one outside the family was allowed in. Even after you woke up, they wouldn't let us see you. I think at least one of us dropped by every day to check on you."

"Really?" Sol breathed, "I never knew."

Cat gave her a gentle thwack on the shoulder. "Of course we did, silly. You're our friend."

"I don't deserve you guys," Sol said, sighing.

"You'd do the same for any of us," Cat replied, "It's what friends do."

There was another silence before Cat said, her voice low, "It wasn't until a couple days later that my mom told me your mom had called. She said that... that when you... you hit your head, you l... lost your sight, and the doctor said... you'd never get it back." Here she started to cry again, and Sol put her arms around her friend.

Cat choked out through her tears, "I... I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true; there had to be some kind of mistake. You... you couldn't be... couldn't be..."

"Blind," Sol finished softly and Cat nodded into her shoulder.

"It's not fair!" she sobbed, "You didn't deserve this, Sol! Why'd this have to happen? I don't understand!"

"I wish I knew, Cat, I wish I had an answer. I've asked myself why so many times. Why me? Why now? Why me?" Sol closed her eyes, holding back tears. "I don't know why this happened. Sometimes I get so angry that I want to scream and cry and break everything I own. I wanted to die, when they told me, because I couldn't face life like this. I prayed that I would just fall asleep and never wake up so I wouldn't have to face it."

"Oh, Sol..." Cat whispered brokenly.

Sol squeezed her friend's hands. "I gave up on everything; I didn't see a purpose. That was why I didn't want to see anyone. It was too painful to remember everything that I would never have again, and... I couldn't bear the thought of you seeing me like this. We'd always been equals, but now I was helpless, useless... worthless."

"You're not worthless, Solveigh!" Cat exclaimed, shaking her, "How could you even think that?!? I, none of us, care if you can't see! We still love you, and nothing, NOTHING, can ever change that!"

"I know that now," Sol replied quietly, "Or at least I'm beginning to. I've been going to... um, therapy, I guess you could call it. It was actually Jace who convinced me to get off my butt and do something. Anyway, it's helped a lot. It's helped me learn how to be as independent as possible so I don't have to, you know, rely on other people all the time. But mostly it's pulled me out of myself. Having something to focus on has gotten me out of my head." Sol sighed. "It's not easy, don't get me wrong, I still have bad days. Sometimes I wake up and wonder what the point of it all is, but I'm getting better."

Cat gave a nervous laugh, "You scared me for minute there, Sol. I thought you were... suicidal, or something."

Sol shook her head, "No, no, no. It wasn't like that. I... I never even considered... you know. I mean, the thought crossed my mind, but I never thought about it seriously. I was really, really angry all the time, and I was nasty to Jace, and my parents. I probably deserved to be spanked for the way I acted out, but they were always patient with me. I see now how lucky I was to have them, and I'm so grateful they stuck by me."

She hesitated. "And I'm glad you stuck by me too. Even though I didn't appreciate it."

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Sol," Cat said, "Your whole life changed in the blink of an eye. I think you're entitled to some serious pouting."

Sol laughed, "I guess I am."

"Just not too much pouting," Cat admonished her teasingly.

"Just not too much."

It felt like old times, before the accident, sitting on the couch with Cat, laughing. Sol embraced her friend again. "I've missed this... missed you. I didn't realize how much until now."

"I've missed you too, and I'm so glad you're doing better. At least, better compared to a few weeks ago. I don't imagine it'll ever be completely better," Cat said.

"Probably not," Sol replied, "But I'm learning that doesn't mean I can't be happy."

"Just promise me you'll remember that when things get hard."

Sol squeezed Cat again. "I promise. I promise I'll remember... if you help me."

Cat returned her embrace. "Always."