Regrets||✓✓

18.9

It was the final day of exams and I was more than excited for the break. Although I shipped Gaylor really hard, Gold told me that Taylor wasn't a yes to the idea of a relationship, and would very much like if they remained friends. I was disappointed. But Gold was happy, and that was fine by me.

I couldn't wait to go home and spend the break with ma and Pa, and probably speak some sense into Liberty's stubborn head. If she proved stubborn, I'd be forced to slap some sense into her. I had my bags packed and I was ready to go.

Until I got a text, that changed, EVERYTHING.

∆

Panicking, I called Conner and Gold. Gold said she was still writing her exam, but Conner said he'd follow me, anyway. I had left the door open so Conner could come in. He met me in a corner, shaking and crying and saying gibberish. He pulled me into his arms and patted my back softly, trying to calm me down, but failed. I pointed to my phone that I had dropped in shock a few feet away from where I was crouched in a ball.

"What does this person want?"

"They... The anonymous writer... They want to.... I thought..." I couldn't even make a coherent sentence without hiccuping. I burst into tears all over again. He pulled me into his arms again, and slowly, I calmed down a bit and took a deep breath, Conner wiping my tears with the sleeve of his sweater. "The anonymous writer sent me a message. They're threatening to release a sex tape I made with Jay. I offered them money in exchange for the tape and they said to meet them at that address." I cried again into my palm. How did they even get the tape? I had burnt that disc a long time ago.

"Relax, Naija, take a deep breath. You are strong—"

"No, Conner, I'm not! I'm not strong! I'm weak and pathetic! I cry at the slightest thing that hurts me and I'm a loser! I suck at life! I suck at everything!" Conner looked hurt, but I was much more hurt than he was. "How did I let you talk me into thinking I was a good person? How did I not see this before? God hadn't forgiven me; this was all some sort of joke. It was all a lie."

"Naija—" I was so lost in my head I had no idea what I was saying anymore. Maybe God hadn't forgiven me after all. He was punishing me for my sins. I deserved this. I deserved all of it. The names they called me, the spite and disgust, the hatred, everything. I deserved it. I was a waste of time and space. I didn't deserve to live.

"Naija. Look at me." I raised my head, shaking, looking at Conner from the corner of my eyes. "I don't know what else to tell you. But can you at least pull yourself together? I'll come with you to see this person. I'll pay every single penny in exchange for your sanity. I'll drive you to and from therapy, afterwards, just so that I can see a pretty smile on your face again. Please." He held my hands in his, and brought them to his lips. A tingly feeling spread through my body and I visibly calmed down.

"Okay."

He then got up, and went to my bedroom to pick out a new pair of clothes for me. "Come on, take a shower, get dressed and I'll drive you there myself." He helped me up to my feet and walked me to my bathroom, helping me out when I was done, and gave me space to dress. He even helped me style my hair. It felt good. It felt different. With Toby, there was paranoia and fear. I was scared to let him know all parts of me. But with Conner, I was comfortable and safe. Yes, nervous, for the most part, but he had seen all my scars and accepted them; accepted me. Even though we were just friends.

He locked the door behind him and put the key in my bag that he held. He slipped his hand in mine and squeezed them softly, giving me all the assurance I needed that he was really here for me. He opened the door for me and ran to the other side to get in, starting the car and driving out of the parking lot. We followed the address to the deeper parts of the University, a place neither of us knew existed.

The road stopped at one point and we had to walk. We walked further and further into the bushes, until we came to a large clearing. It looked like a campfire site. Conner and I exchanged looks of confusion. "Are you sure we're at the right place, Conner?" I asked, getting scared.

"This is where the message says we should be," he said, looking at his phone again.

Soon we heard the crunching of leaves and footsteps approaching. I squeezed Conner's hand, breathing heavily. If I wss squeezing too hard, which I was, Conner didn't show it. I was scared. This was the moment that could change everything. This was the moment I found out who was out to get me, the person who hated me, the person who ruined my life. This was it.

Soon a person in all black stepped out from behind a tree, wearing a ski mask. I take my hand out of Conner's and rub them together, anxious. Soon the person and I are standing a few feet apart. The person removes the ski mask. Her hair has all colours of the rainbow, bright lipstick on her lips, and make up as perfect as a model's. "Sup, bitch. Looking for this?" She holds up a disc in her fingers.

My hands tremble nervously and my mind is a wreck. The revelation shakes me to the core and I'm suddenly out of breath. In only a couple of months, and a few spoken words, my past is dug up and my new reputation tarnished.

And the Mastermind behind it all, my very own sister, Liberty.

My lungs are burning and I can't breathe.

Suddenly, it goes black.

******

Yasssssssss!!

Finally!

Y'all thought 18.3 didn't make sense but it did, eh eh!!!

Tbvh, I'm an emotional wreck. A lot of shit went down in the past couple days and I'm barely holding it together. That's why I'm so sad and I cry as I write this book.

Are you surprised by this revelation? Liberty was behind it the whole time? Do you know why?? If you think you do, leave a comment in the comment section!

If you enjoyed this chapter, please vote, comment and share! I'd appreciate it if you did!

Love,
AJ xoxo