Chapter 16

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*video is JFK by Lana Del Rey**

The week did not go by fast enough. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I miss John. Being near him makes me feel safe and at home. I spend all of my time fighting my feelings, and I can't help but wonder what would happen if I gave in.

He didn't call all week and I didn't want to bother him. I go back to work today so I may or may not see him. I get ready but putting on a full face of makeup and curl the ends of my hair so it's wavy. I never forget to put on the perfume he bought me because I know he loves how it smells on me.

I'm nervous and excited that I could see him. New York was fun but it didn't last long enough and too much of our time was spent in meetings.

I feed Samson and lock the door before heading down to my car.

When I get to work I go straight to my office and see boxes of paperwork have piled up. There's a note on my desk with instructions and I get straight to work. I am bummed it's just a paperwork day and I won't be spending time with John. I know he is a very busy man though.

After a few hours and four cups of coffee, I decide to stop for a lunch break. Just as I am about to grab my jacket and head out of the office, I notice Lance walking towards me.

He is another assistant of John's, and does all of his errands. I can't help but notice how attractive he is with his dark curly hair and bright green eyes. I don't feel as nervous around him as I do when I'm with John and there are no butterflies in my stomach, but he's definitely an attractive man.

"Hey, Scarlett! I'm so glad I caught you before you left. The President wanted me to give this to you." He reaches out his arm and hands me a sealed envelope.

"Thank you, Lance. What is it?" I ask.

"I'm not entirely sure, I was under orders to not open it but to make sure you got it before the day was over. He said you shouldn't open it until you get home." Lance looks at me with a puzzled expression, I think he's trying to figure out what the President would have given me that could be so private. I'm not really sure either.

I put the envelope in my coat pocket and thank him again.

"Hey...are you heading out to lunch? I was actually about to get some myself if you just wanted to go somewhere together." He says, making nervous eye contact.

He seems really sweet and I could use closer friends at work.

"Sure, lets go get lunch."

Lance and I decide to take his car and go to a restaurant not too far. We both order salads and talk about the current politics and work related stuff.

"The President seems to be really fond of you, I can understand why. You're very intelligent." He says after we're finished eating.

"Well I don't know about all of that, but thank you very much. You seem to be a pretty loyal friend of his as well. I can see why you're the closest employee to him." I say back.

He smiles and blushes a little. I offer to pay for the bill or at least for my food but he refuses. After about an hour of eating and chatting we head back to work.

When we get in the car he asks me more questions.

"So how late are you working today?"

"Just until I get this paperwork sorted and filed, maybe two or three hours. How late do you usually work?" I ask him.

"I don't really have a set schedule, ever. Whenever the President needs something I am there, whatever hours of the day or night." He looks over at me briefly and smiles.

I think about John and how I've missed talking to him even though it's only been a week. He usually calls at night but I haven't heard from him. I wonder what is in the envelope.

We get back to work and Lance and I say our goodbyes, I think him for lunch and he insists that we do it again soon. The rest of the day drags on but six o'clock rolls around and I pack up and head home for the day.

I can't wait to spend time cuddling with Samson and see what John gave me.

As soon as I unlock my door and set my things down I rip into the envelope, the anticipation killing me.

There's a hand written note and a locket inside.

Scarlett,
I know you keep telling yourself that you do not want me, and I know you wish it were true. We both know how we truly feel about each other. I can see it in your eyes each time we are together. I can hear it in your laugh and your voice when you speak to me. I know it's not the right thing to do, I know it is not moral. I cannot force myself to ignore it the same way that you can. I was meant to love you, I knew it when I first saw you. Opportunity for love like this does not come often. We are fortunate to have found our way into each other's lives. I have tried to let you go this past week, to see what it would be like without you. It has been torture. I want to see you and hear your voice. If you feel the same way please give me a call tonight. If you do not, I will leave you alone.

Love, J

My mind begins to race after reading this declaration of love. I do have to admit, I have never felt this way about anyone. I open the locket and there's a picture of us that was taken in New York when we were in a limo on our way to a meeting. He's looking at me and smiling and I'm looking at the camera laughing. I have to call him.

I spend the next few hours debating whether or not to call him. Of course, I know deep down that I could feel the same way if I opened up to it. It seems so wrong though, I know it would only hurt both of us in the end. The decision weighs heavily on my mind. I take a bath to soothe my nerves as I work up the courage to pick up the phone.

I dial his personal number and he picks up on the first ring.

"Hello?" His voice sounds strained like he just woke up or a nap or has been crying.

"John" I say softly.

His voice changes into something more hopeful. "S-Scarlett? You called...you really called."

"Yes" I can't think of much else to say, my adrenaline is running high and I've never let him get very far with me.

"So what does this mean?" He asks, almost instantly.

"I don't know..."

"I'm coming over. I'll be there in 30 minutes, don't move." He hangs up the phone. I have an inner panic attack trying to think about why he's coming over and what will happen.

I straighten up my apartment and touch up my looks before he can get here. I also realized he doesn't know I have a cat yet and he'll get to meet Sam.

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