ex silentio | ivan goncharov x reader

ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴘᴇᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴇxᴘʟᴀɪɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀꜱᴋ. ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴍᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ!

. . .

1) On Dostoyevsky

When Ivan was first introduced, he was shown as a person insanely loyal and deeply connected to the big rat. So naturally, I chose to make Dostoyevsky play a significant role in this story. Then, I wondered, how shall he be portrayed, in which manner?

Well, I thought, why not make him the usual God he is. Why not go a bit deeper, why not explore his complex personality as well? Boy, was I surprised to realize he might actually be the anchor of all of my sickening metaphors.

He was supposed to represent God, simple as that. But not the usual God, the one that Christianism ought to display; not the one who gives infinite love, but the one who plays around in order to kill his apathy.

He's the closest thing to an antagonist in the tale as well. I needed someone omnious on that position; Dos seemed to fit perfectly.

Concerning his relationship with the Reader... he bears no real feelings for her. All he does "feel" is a curiosity, for he sensed she is a deep, intelligent person, somehow even similar to him. This sparked his interest and gave him the idea to use her further. However - her emotional state disappointed him, and he found himself debating if he should or should not keep her.

Then, boom - Ivan fell in love with her. Something that could cause Dostoyevsky further problems due to the type of this... "love".

So what Dostoyevsky had done in the end was purposely send her off outside that day, knowing what would happen. He knew, her ability is useless if not timed well and used well - and he knew that she could possibly betray him if the chance were to arise. Through her relationship with Ivan she had gained more courage; he didn't need that cocky attitude.

So he used her as a warning sign for the Agency - knowing she would, in desperation, try to do something to change the status quo. And as expected - she practically blew herself up, showing the Agency the detriment of a sole ability. What Dostoyevsky planned to do with her in the end was to sacrifice her to naught; simply as to show the Agency that he would not hesitate to end his subordinates' lives, and to warn them that his organization is made out of similar, truly great people.

In the end, Dostoyevsky never cared for her. She simply piqued his interest, something most people fail to accomplish.

2) What about Dazai?

Dazai had a similar look on the Reader as Dos. He was curious, indeed, and what he saw in the Reader was in fact himself. He was reminded of his past self, and he believed she could be redeemed, as she too had chosen a wrong path in her life.

Just like Dos, Dazai grew disappointed at one point. He realized that this girl might be great in the matters of mind, yes, but her heart was far too stubborn. He liked her, though. He couldn't help but like her due to her victimized position that, as I said, reminded him of himself.

Did he love her, though? No, he was just messing with her.

3) The mother

I hope I made it clear; the mother did love her child. However, her love wasn't adequate at all.

The hate that sprouts in the Reader towards her mother is caused by years of figurative isolation, pressure; this isn't the usual thing you might think of, such as, "My mom kept me in the basement for years! She abused me! She never let me hang out with anyone!"

Not at all. This is the type of trauma you get if you find yourself in a family that doesn't match your worth.

See - her mother never allowed her to claim her own path. She had always been there to show her what to do, even when she got older, her mother orchestrated her interests, so to say. The Reader never had the feeling she had accomplished something herself, and the mother who loved to boast about her child's success and take credit for it - it didn't help one bit.

Then, to go back to the matter of love - yes, she loved her. Too much, one could say, as she never allowed the Reader to properly leave her family. Every bird ought to fly away from its nest. Not only did the mother prevent her from doing that, but she made sure to idolize the family (along with her father; but he was a pale figure compared to mom).

Now you get a teen who doesn't have any feeling of self-worth, whose life is decimated to that of her family. She wants to escape this place, just like every young man or woman, she wants to live a little. But she can't. Years and years pass, and she can't.

They might seem unimportant to some, these troubles, but let me tell you; this girl had one thing looming over her entire life and nothing else. She wanted to break out. She read about it, watched about it. She simply wanted to live a life, love someone. Have a purpose in this beautiful world. Simply, to matter.

And this was her sole wish. Her sole ideal.

The daughter's heart no longer cared for her parents. They drained her love a long time ago.

However, mother loved before. And when the Reader came back, she loved. She forgave her daughter for she loved her too much.

4) Why did you crush my heart?

I do that often, apparently.

Sorry.

5) Will there be a sequel?

No. However, if you're interested to find out what happens next, well - everything goes according to the original plot of BSD.

The, uh, ADA being destroyed by the Reader's ability didn't quite happen, as they were aware of it and evacuated the area. Her "boom" wasn't strong enough as well - Dazai did manage to tap her soon after she began... exploding.

Afterwards, while on her way to the prison, her body was retrieved by the Rats. Afterwards, you know what happens. Ivan kills her and so on. Then, with some time skips, of course, the original plot of BSD continues.