The Path to Love

Chapter 54 - Sam's POV

I want to say as each minute, hour, day, and week that passes by, gets easier without him, but it never does. Living without him, gets harder. I am constantly reminded of being without him. Every time the baby would kick my ribs, or I could feel her move inside of me. She's the creation of Hunter and I, and no matter how hard I would try, I could never forget him. 

Realizing she was coming soon, without him, scared me even more. I'm not prepared to raise her by myself without him. I'm seventeen, I don't know how to do this. I don't want to do this by myself.

"Sam, I have to run an errand, I'll be back soon. Don't leave the house. Please." Xavier said, walking into my room.

"I'm starting to feel more like a prisoner than a guest in this house, Xavier. Why can't I come with you?" I replied.

"It won't feel that way for much longer, I just promised to keep you safe and I'm not breaking my promise."

"He doesn't give a crap about me and you know that. I don't know why you're trying to uphold this promise to him anymore anyways. You didn't answer my question."

"At the end of the day, people came after you and tried to hurt you. Whether or not it was about Hunter." I winced at the sound of his name. "You were still targeted, and I don't know if it's safe for you and your baby out there. I don't want you to be targeted again because then I have to get him involved into another unfortunate situation, and he has his own shit to figure out. If I happened to take you out, and someone came after you, Hunter would kill me. I prefer to be living than to die by the hands of my best friend."

"Get me a bodyguard then, because I want to go out!" I whined. I completely blew off the last thing he said because I knew Hunter wouldn't do something like that. I hoped he wouldn't do nothing like that.

"I'll go out with you after I get back, how's that?"

"Fine," I huffed. "I guess I will just talk to my imaginary friends and the ghosts of this house." I mumbled.

"Funny. Very funny Sam." Xavier chuckled, walking out of my room.

Hmph. Staying here all day, is not happening. I don't care what Xavier expects of me. Hunter did something good before he left by dealing with the situation. Even though it almost cost me my life, I trusted him, I knew he would have protected me; that's what I keep telling myself anyways. I wonder if he ever had a backup plan in case something would have happened to me or if he trusted me fully to do what he asked of me. Who knows now? It's not like I can ask him, he's gone. What happened to Novak, though? Where did he go? Will he be coming back when he heals? That thought was enough to give me a panic attack.

Deep breathes, change the thought process, focus on something else, don't think about him. Everyone went out of their way to protect you, they dealt with him. Hunter made sure before he left that I wouldn't have to worry about Novak, again. He's gone, permanently. He won't bother me again.

Hunter. I can't get him out of my head. I wonder if our daughter will look like him the most, I wonder if she'll have his cheeky grin, or his curious brown eyes, his full lips, or his big ears. I hope she has his straight blond hair, he managed to rock that hair, everyday. Why didn't it cross my mind ever to think about him as something more than a best friend? He was the whole deal, every girl was all over him, but the only girl he paid a great deal of attention to, was me. Maybe, I was his almost. Maybe I could have been his forever. Maybe, we were supposed to be together and the universe will pull us back together eventually, when we're both ready for it. Stop. Don't think like this about him anymore. He's done, I'm done, we're done.

He's done.

I'm done.

We're done.

There's no Hunter and Sam anymore. There's just Sam, and then there's Hunter.

That's the mantra I need to keep telling myself.

Fake it until you make it. It was better to get into the thought process of thinking that I was done rather than not thinking I was and having to work through all the stages of heartbreak. I don't have the time or the stress levels to come to terms with that pain.

I don't know which thought makes me sadder, the fact that he has completely disappeared thinking it was best for me and our kid. Or, the fact that he was my almost. We almost got into a relationship, we almost became more than best friends, our relationship was a big almost. Everyone expected us to become more than friends, but we never breached that barrier. Until one drunken night. That night.

He told me that night that we shouldn't drink, I should have listened. I ruined us, I turned us into something neither of us recognized, and I forced him to leave.

He was my almost, and I'll forever regret not making him my definite.

I have to get out of here. Ignoring Xavier's plea, I grabbed a jacket and decided to go for a walk. He's overreacting, nothing is going to grab me. The situation was dealt with.

No one tried to stop me as I left either. Nobody saw me. Maybe they all acted like I didn't exist. Or maybe, they didn't care about me being here. I bet it's the second option. They're not going to try and protect me because they don't care about me.

At least no one will try to stop me as I get out of here.

I walked down the steps of headquarters, as he calls it, and started walking. I didn't have any destination in mind, particularly, I just needed to get out of the house, it was suffocating me.

My feet took me to the place I hadn't been to in years. The waterfall. Him and I discovered this place together as kids, but I hardly doubt he remembers it.

I sat on the rock near the body of water and just watched the waterfall. This is the most peaceful experience I've felt for weeks now.

I continued to take deep breaths and took in my surroundings. It was beautiful here. The waterfall falling over a little body of water; we were in a forest so there were trees all around me. The waterfall was part of a larger lake that went way back from my eyesight. I was sitting directly next to the waterfall. I could touch it if I reached my feet out far enough. There was graffiti all over the rocks and I was sitting on what looked like bunker looking architect. I could sit here for hours.

My phone started to ring, interrupting my thoughts. "Where the hell are you?" Xavier roared into the phone, before I got to say hello.

"I'm out, where are you?"

"I'm home, wondering why the hell you aren't in your room like I asked you to stay in."

"I was suffocating Xavier, I needed to get some fresh air."

"Get. Home. Now." He hissed.

"I don't have a home," I replied, standing up. "I'll be back to your home soon, long enough to get you and then you and I are going somewhere. I don't care where." I hung up the phone, not even giving him a chance to fight me on it.

If he wanted to keep me in that house, we were going to start doing the things that I wanted to do as well.