Just Us ✔️

The Way Things Were

I wake up the next morning tangled in Benji's arms. He stayed the night again because he didn't want to leave me alone. I knew it would piss Jonas off but I didn't care. After he blew up at me yesterday he never came out of his room. There was a part of me that wanted to go see him. To talk his all out, but I didn't, I still hated him even more than before.

I glance at Benji's sleeping face, and take in all of his features. The Manchester boys were definitely blessed in the looks department. I stared at him and studied him for the longest time, the way his dark brown hair covered his face, and the way he jaw clenched when he slept, even the way his lips curled into a small smile. He was always happy and I loved that.
I softly draw a line with my finger from his forehead down to his chin, he stirs and flutters his eyes open to look at me. When he sees me clearly a sleepy smile comes across his lips.

"That tickles" he says with a sleepy and groggy voice.

"Good morning" I say my voice nearly a whisper.

I trace my finger along his defined jaw line and am captivated by him. The gold in his eyes was so intense.

"Hey you okay?" He asks a little more awake.

I nod.

"I'm just really happy, you make me really happy Benji"

A small smile appears on his lips as he moves his face closer to mine and kisses the tip of my nose.
I giggle as he moves his kiss to my cheek and then to the corner of my lips.

"I could really get used to this." He says pulling away slightly.

"Get used to what?"

"Waking up next to you, kissing you, being with you. Lacey when I'm with you my world is alright, everything is perfect and it's because of you, you've always brought out the best in me and I love that about you, I love spending time with you"

"Well I am pretty fun"

He laughs at me and plants another kiss on my lips. But this time it felt different, it felt passionate and full of hunger.
I place my hand on the back of his neck lacing my fingers in his hair, and pull him closer to me.
He doesn't hesitate. He adjust himself so he can hover over me and never breaks the kiss. His body is so big over mine it's like a protection to me, a protection against the world. A shield that is meant to save me from the fire that is trying to consume me.
He trails his lips down my jaw and to my neck where he continues kissing and sucking on a spot just below my ear. I start breathing heavily as he starts lightly nibbling on my earlobe. When a light moan escapes my mouth he moves his lips down to my collarbone, where he starts kissing again I could feel him smile against my skin as the moans increased. I was trying so hard to stay quiet, I didn't want Jonas or Spencer knowing Benji was still here.
I grab his face and move it back up to meet mine and then place my lips on his. He starts sliding his hand up my shirt and caressing my bare skin. I instantly felt weird, I've had sex before but I wasn't ready to do that with Benji. Before he can go further there's a soft knock on my door.

Thank god

Benji quickly jumps off of me and puts a lot of distance between us before he groans into his hands.

"Lacey? Are you awake?" A deep raspy voice asks

Shit. Why would he want to talk to me?
I shoot Benji a look before getting up and heading to my door. I open it just a crack and see a very disheveled looking Jonas.

He lets out a breath when he sees me.

"Hey Lace." He says, his voice low and sleepy.

"What do you want?"

"I came to talk to you, can I come in?"

"I'd really prefer it if you didn't" I say stepping into the hall and shutting the door behind me.

His face drops and I see the hurt and sadness in his eyes, it was taking over.

"You're not alone are you?" He asks in a quiet tone.

I don't respond.

Almost in a flash his eyes are filled with anger and hatred. His body tenses and his hands clench into fists at his sides.

Why was he so angry?

"Is he in there?" He asks in a harsh tone

"Jonas..."

"Answer the fucking question Lacey." He snaps at me.

I slowly nod my head.

His head drops and he lets out a deep sigh. His fists keep clenching and unclenching at his sides and he was grinding his teeth and making his jaw tight.

"Jonas-"

He cuts me off

"Don't. Just don't" he says his voice low again

"What did you need to talk to me about?"

His eyes meet mine for a brief second before he returns his gaze to the floor.

"Just forget it" he says

He turns his body and begins to walk away, I grab his arm to stop him. I was sick of his walking away from me.

"Don't walk away from me. Not again. Just talk to me."

"Lacey just drop it"

"Please" he adds in a soft whisper

I felt his muscles tightening under his shirt from where I was holding him.

"Why do you always walk away from me? Why do you always run. Why don't you ever talk to me anymore? What did I do?"

He closes his eyes and sighs. He silent for a very long time before he finally responds.

"You didn't do anything. It's all my fault. The reason you hate me, the reason I run away, the reason I can't ever seem to do anything right when it comes to you. I'm an idiot"

"Jonas please just talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. We used to be close. What happened?"

His deep brown eyes meet mine and he just stares intently into my eyes.

"Please Jonas. I don't like us fighting. Can we please just work this out between us and go back to the way we were?"

"I don't want to do back to the way we were Lacey, that's the problem."

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. I really didn't understand him. We stand there in silence again before he speaks.

"I'm sorry Lacey. I really am. I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I'm so so so sorry" he says in a hushed tone before walking away from me without another word.

Something inside me broke every time he walked away from me. Seeing him choose to walk away hurt me. Seeing him so broken up hurt me. Seeing him hurt me. And I couldn't understand why.