-
Wonder.
I often get wondered about. 'She speaks well for a foreigner.' Or, 'I'm sure her parents disowned her.' Or, 'How can she go outside looking that way? Doesn't she shame her parents?' I wonder the same thing. Who am I? Why am I here? I remember wondering the same questions two years ago when they were first issued to me. Why can't I be normal? Why do I have this desire to please people so much? To watch... to touch... to feel...? Why can't I have simple addictions? Maybe sewing, or billiards. Maybe even Sternhalma. But no, I'm addicted to something much more personal, much more intoxicating.
"Hey! What'd you get?! Oi! Ren-dà jiě finished!"
I can't help but to wonder why people like me so much. Is it the way I dress? Is it the way my arms have no visible bareness? Is it the metal in my face? Or maybe my oddly colored eyes? Is it because my skin is dark? That means they like differential things, right? I wonder why people want to be my friend so much, it's always been a mystery to me. Maybe they like my vibe? Or maybe the way I talk?
"Ooh, she completed?! The results! Ren-dà jiě! – what are you results?!"
I snapped from my thoughts and let out an interested breath of air through my nose. The kids around me wear an expression of anticipation, of wonder, of excitement... and it's all over this silly game. I slid my iPhone across the table to one of the giddier younger girls. She's cute, but not my type.
"See for yourself."
She hurriedly scanned my results with her friends whilst I leaned back and crossed my arms into relaxation. As if automatically, the reactions of the underclassmen bothered the several customers in the off campus. cafe.
"Mind your manners!" My unfortunate roommate and friend (?) Joonie loudly scowled.
"You got a five, wow! How the hell is that possible?!" The students yelled out. Excitement spread across their young, perverted faces.
Cute. It's an excitement they're not allowed to wear during the weekdays.
"Yah! Shut your mouths!" Joonie scolded at the same time. I couldn't help but smirk.
"She got a five, Zhāng-lǎoshī!" The younger girl proclaimed to Joonie. She turned to me, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "You're dirty, Ren-dà jiě, so dirty!"
I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "You're just clean, is all."
"It's Huàng-lǎoshī, yah! And wait-" Joonie took my phone from the girls hand, his eyes immediately widening. "You got a five as your score?!"
He's just as loud as the kids.
I shrugged and cocked an eyebrow at him. When'd he become good at acting? "That's what it says, doesn't it?"
He scoffed. "You've done all of this except...?"
I practically felt my brain cells melt away. Joonie and I were given the opportunity to co-teach with our professors. We thought it'd be fun to bring our underclassmen students to a cafe near the university on a Sunday evening and become closer to rid of the five, maybe six year age difference between student and teacher. Well, Joonie thought it'd be fun. I lost an important appointment for this bonding session. That, and we both (read: Joonie primarily) had to beg their dormitory superiors to let them out of their prison for one late night.
The first years - being as excited as they can be, got Joonie and I - being as exhausted as we are, to take some silly test called the purity test. A test I half-ass expected them to bring up considering I took it as a freshman for shits and giggles too; all the while Joonie seemed more than startled to realize the purity test was more about sex than it was about terms of cleanliness.
