A Second Chance

13

"I know." I sighed. I didn't feel like making dinner but I persevered through it. Even at Ryan's, I felt lonely.

After making dinner for Liz, then ours, it was quiet. Both of our moods were dampened. I knew why I was feeling miserable, but not why Ryan was.

"Are you alright?" I asked him.

"Yeah." Ryan sighed out. "It's, it's weird. I'm just used to having Willow here when you are here."

I placed my fork down and bit my lip, turning to Ryan. "Did I do the right thing?"

Ryan looked at me, sitting back on the stool. "You're her mother."

"I know, I just feel like it wasn't the right thing to do. I'm her mother. I should know these things."

Ryan smiled widely at me. "No, you shouldn't."

I looked at him, surprised by what he said. My appetite was long gone.

"It doesn't matter if this is your first time or twentieth time on this experience. Each one is different. You think you are doing the right thing and some times you might be wrong. But that's okay, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, no matter where or what, we all learn from them."

"Why are you so wise?" I teased him. Ryan did make me feel better.

Ryan's chuckle made me smile wider. "I'm not wise. Just observant."

"You sound like you have experienced it all."

"No. Not it all." Then Ryan frowned, as if an unwanted thought had took over in his head. "There are many things I have never done or experience. Despite the want for me to do it."

"Such as what? Sorry, I just need a distraction and this is helping."

"That's fine." Ryan got up of the seat and cleared the dirty plates. It seems that he has no appetite either. "I've never travelled, for fun."

I gave him a sly smile. Knowing he has some part in being a manager for tech business, I knew travel would be included. But he never let on what exactly he does. He did say he inherited a business, but I have no idea if it's the one he works in now.

"Then tell me." I said softly, sitting comfortably on the stool.

*

Even waking in my bed in the silence was too much. It was never this quiet even when Willow is home and still asleep.

I had a good chat last night with her, telling me all the things that she did yesterday with all the kids, Stella and even her dad. That shocked me.

Connor making an effort, that is.

Getting up, I pushed my hair off my face, knowing there was a huge mess on the back of my head and grabbing the hair brush, I struggled with it while on the toilet.

There were a few grunts and yelps, but I got there, tears threatening to burst through as I glared at the large chunk of my hair in the hair brush.

Flushing the toilet and washing my hands, I went to return the hairbrush where it belongs, on my dresser. I'm a girl, I have a daughter. We go through so many hair brushes. They are floating in the house somewhere. Probably with the twenty thousand hair bands that I've bought over the years.

Then I heard a soft tap on my front door and paused, halfway back at my dresser.

I wasn't expecting anyone, and despite how I looked, I checked the time on my watch, picking it up off the bedside table, heading to the door.

It was eight thirty and I was slightly annoyed. Who would be at my place? Wedging the hair brush in to my arm pit, I did up my watch, mumbling under my breathe, going to the door.

I've yet to open the house up, letting in the early autumn coolness and padded to the door, looking at my hairbrush.

It was tearing, the pad coming out off the corners. I've yet to finish brushing my hair, but I was going to cheat, conditioning my hair to help with the tangles.

I opened the door, the cold air hitting me like a brick wall as my eyes flared up to the reason of me suddenly being cold.

"Good, you're up." Ryan grinned at me before I saw his eyes go south. Before I could react to why he was here, I looked down at myself.

"Oh fudge." I whispered, my hands going straight to the hem of an old singlet, pulling it down even more. But since I was pulling the fabric down my hips, it was also going down my chest.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I stepped back and without saying another word, I just turned away, walking to my room, slamming my door shut while I was trying to find something to slip on.

"What are you doing here?" I yelled out, going through my clothes hanging up in the closet.

"I'm sorry." Then I heard him chuckle. "I just assumed that you would be bored today. I thought I could help you cure that."

My hand froze on a hanger, my head tilted. I was lost for words, my emotions jumping everywhere, my brain fogged up.

"Harper?"

Ryan's words snapped me back to reality. Huh? Oh, I was getting dressed. Not knowing what to wear because I didn't know what Ryan's plans were, I snatched a silk dressing gown off a hanger and slipped it on. It wasn't suitable for the weather, but a hell lot more suitable for when I have someone over instead of a singlet that is so old that the straps are knotted to keep it up on my shoulders and my panties showing.

I left the bedroom, doing up the sash then running my fingers through my knotty hair. "That's very sweet of you, Ryan. But why so early?"

Ryan arched an eyebrow and looked at his phone. "It's eight thirty. That's not early."

"I'm childless. That's early." I grinned, trying to finish doing my hair. "What have you got up your sleeve, Ryan?"

Ryan sat on one of the chairs by my dining table, keeping his eyes on me. "Why must I have something planned? Why not be in the moment?"

I paused, chewing at his words. "In the moment?" I snorted. "Are you high?"

Ryan laughed. "No. I'm not high. Go get dressed and we will go do something."

"What is that something?" I asked, groaning. "Will I need boots or joggers? Inside or outside?"

"Go get dressed." He laughed as I turned on my heel, going back to my room.

Twenty minutes later, I walked out in leggings, socks on for my boots, a scarf around my neck with a jacket over my arms.

I went to get my knee high boots and Ryan watched in amusement as I tried to get them on.

"Why put up with that discomfort?"

"I'm a girl!" I snapped at him while grunting, trying to get my foot in the boot. "I'm entitled to have pretty boots even if my foot won't go.... in!" I sighed in relief as my foot finally went in and with a triumphant smile, I did the zipper up. "Besides, they are really comfortable."

Ryan chuckled as he got up and I raced around, making sure I had everything before placing on my jacket and a knitted beret.

I led Ryan out off my house, locking the door. "Right. First stop." I grinned, walking to the car.

"First stop?"

"The most important one of all man kind Ryan." I said in a deadpan voice, looking him dead in the eyes.

"Yeah?" I saw the small grin appear.

"Yeah. Coffee."