Chasing The Forgotten

Chapter Eighteen

"Honestly, I wouldn't mind if you did." He smirks earning a look of annoyance from me.

"This isn't a time for your stupid ass jokes." I comment before running a hand through my hair.

"Then what?" He asks as if he hadn't said all that shit before.

"Then let me tell you that if you weren't as dumb as a bag of bricks that you would see that I'm trying." I yelled, "You would see that I'm fucking trying Adrian. I'm not making you chase after me because I'm  fucking high school bitch who likes her heart and love being chased but because I don't want to make another fucking mistake."

The silence was filled with tension that could've been cut with a knife.

"And you know, it doesn't help that you guys have been blowing up lately. Have you ever even thought about it in that perspective? I know what it's like watching my brother grow up in the spotlight and I don't want that. I want a normal life with privacy. You don't have that." I spoke, "Don't even get me started on what happens when you decide you're done playing house and you want to get back to your normal life. What are you going to do then? Leave us? Stop acting like I enjoy picking these fights because of my feelings."

He shook his head and went to open his mouth before I interrupted.

"I don't want to hurt myself again. That was a mistake. You were a mistake."

The words leave my mouth before I could stop them and I watch as Adrian's body tenses up before his eyes change from lust to hurt.

So quickly.

"Wait—" I sighed, "Wait Adrian, I didn't mean—"

I watched as he walked out of the room and into his.

"Adrian!" I knocked, attempting to keep some sense of quiet this late into the night at a hotel. "Adrian!"

I hadn't even cared that I was dressed in nothing more than my jeans and the bralette.

Yet, I was met with silence and nothing more.

Was it a mistake?

It had to be something I said in the heat of the moment...right?

I couldn't have meant that right?

I let my mind wander back to the dark place I tried so desperately to get out of.

He doesn't even love you.

Remember when he slept with her?

Remember how you felt?

Did you like getting hurt?

Can you watch that happen again?

I sighed as I opened the door and shut it, loud enough for him to hear that I've left him alone.

I contemplated as I sat on the edge of the bed.

Reaching into the small handbag that I carried around, I took a prescribed pill letting it force me to relax.

I don't know how long I sat there but I heard two knocks, "Can I come in?"

I didn't want to talk about it.

I didn't like the baggage that came with our relationship.

Neither did he.

I passed a wall mirror to find myself looking like a mess before shrugging and opening the door.

None of us said anything as I went back down to sit on the bed as he followed, closing the door.

"Listen Kenzie." Adrian sighed, "I didn't know you felt like that."