Diary of an Introvert

22.5

Akala ko sa manga, comics, anime, drama ko lang to makikita pero hindi pala. It felt like the time suddenly moved slow and I was appreciating the visuals of this 26 year old man. I knew he's handsome and now he's even more attractive. Shet. Am I starting to fall for him?

"Okay ka lang? " He asked and I suddenly went back to reality. Dito ko lang din napansin na nasa Fresh Start (restaurant/cafe) na pala kami.

"Okay lang. Thank you."

"Hm...so, okay lang din ba na mag-holding hands tayo?" He asked me again. "We've been dating for almost 3 months so, I guess it was okay to try being physical with each other." Ako lang ba o namumula talaga siya? Shet. Ang heart beat ko---hindi ko na maintindihan. " I mean, if it's okay with you. Kung hindi ka pa komportable, I understand." He continued.

Some parts of me felt happy but some felt nervous. Physical contact? Physical intimacy? I knew I will have to encounter these things pero...kinakabahan ako. I don't know what to do. I once again tried to act calm but I guess I can't hide the fact that I'm flustered.

"Ahm...Calvin. Be honest, hindi ka naman siguro nagmamadali noh? I mean, I guess I'm okay with holding hands but...not yet for the other things like...you know. Heh..."

Nagulat siya... na naman. "Ha? Ah. Hahaha...I know. I understand what you mean, Cee. Don't worry, I also don't want to be in a rush. I want us to take things slowly. I want to date you with respect. Holding hands is more than enough for me, Cee. I'm content with just that."

"Seryoso? O baka naman sinasabi mo lang to dahil gusto mong mahulog ako sayo."

"Yes, Seryoso po ako. Why? Am I making your heartbeat fast?" He's smiling at me. The heck. Why is he so good looking?!

"Hm. Hindi naman ako maganda para mag-inarte noh." I looked at his eyes. "Yes po. So please be gentle. Baka atakihin ako sa puso."

He laughed then smile while looking at me then laugh and smile again. Haha. Para siyang baliw.

"I love you, Cee." He whispered.

"Hayst. Tama na nga yan." I was happy, too, but I don't know if this is already love. "Anong gusto mo? Mag-oorder na ako."

He's still smiling at me. "Ikaw."

"Hay. Ayaw paawat ah. Yung kape po."

"Hahaha...okay, fine. Titigil na. Hmm... hot brewed coffee no milk, just sugar."

"Okay." I called the waiter and ordered 2 hot brewed coffee, no milk just mascovado sugar and 4 pieces of calamansi piaya.

I recommend their food here. It's healthy and kind of affordable naman. The place is good too. For me, it's cozy.

Here at Fresh Start, we talked about random things. We would laugh at some of our funny experiences and we're also serious at other matters. We also talked about our careers and the challenges were facing.

Here, I just knew that Calvin was recently promoted as the team leader of the Marketing Department in their company. No wonder he's always busy with his work and sometimes no time to eat properly and we also don't have much time to meet or even talk to each other. Now I understand him more.

All this time, I'm always afraid to initiate anything but now that I know what he's going through, I won't hesitate to make the first text, chat or even call. I'm starting to think that it's okay for me to put my guard down and just enjoy the stage that we are now.

"Cee." He held my hand.

"Hm?"

He sighed. "Wala naman. Pwede ba tayong dumaan sa simbahan bago umuwi?"

"Siyempre."

And so we went to the church and prayed before going home.

"Gusto mong malaman kung anong pinag-usapan namin ni Lord?" Sabi niya.

"Well, dapat siguro sa inyo na yun ni Lord pero kung gusto mong sabihin sakin, pwede rin naman. Hehe.."

He smiled, held both of my hands and looked at me in the eyes. "I thank the Lord for letting me hear your songs, for meeting you in person and now for giving us the chance to date each other."

Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. I'm just happy and I prayed that this happiness won't lead us to something painful later on.

We ended our day by saying good night.

*** to be continued***