Love You Despite |Complete ✅|

19•Deep Rooted Issues

Mike and I shared the sofa beside the chair Raina was sitting in. Dr. Mills was across both. We were seated in a semi-circle.

"Well, Raina I know we discussed our plan for this session last visit. Which was to talk about some of those deep rooted issues you're still dealing with today." She smiled warmly, Raina nodded.

"You guys are here for moral support. No interrupting the process. She has to get it out." She made it clear to Mike and I. We nodded. I sat back getting myself comfortable, smoothing my hand over the arm of the leather sofa.

"So I'm going to dive right in. Raina lets talk about the Nelsons again." Doctor Mills started off. Rai's eyes fell to her lap for a moment then they landed on the nearby window.

"If you're not able to today, that's ok." She leaned in closer to Rai.

"What do you want me to say about them?" She spoke above a whisper, bringing her attention to Dr. Mills. "Ok we can start with how was your stay? What comes to mind when I asked that question?" Dr. Mills clicked her pen while holding her pad.

My attention went to Rai, studying her body language. Fidgeting hands, leg bouncing, and lip damn near bleeding from nibbling at it. She was uneasy. Debating if I should comfort her. I knew she needed this distance and this was part of the process, but damn.

"It was horrible, embarrassing. They ruined me. What do you want me to say?" She stated rather confused. She didn't know what to say and what not to say. To her all of it was gruesome. Where do you start?

I noticed one of Mike's legs shaking. Dr. Mills waited for her to proceed. "I was basically their slave in a way. They had a fetish. Me being a young black girl was it. So that's the way they treated me."

"What do you mean a slave? Can you give some examples?" Dr. Mills pushed. "Well from the first day I was in their home they set the tone with their rules." Raina answered. I sat back taking it all in. Everytime she open her mouth to say something else it got worse and worse. "Like?" Dr. Mills asked.

"They controlled everything. What I ate and how much. What I said and what I wore. Everything had to go through them. The way I cleaned, everything." She let out.

"How old were you?" Dr. Mills asked. Raina paused before she spoke again. "I was seven turning eight in a week when I moved in with them."

"Why did they control what you ate?" Dr. Mills asked more so for further details of the story. She wanted Raina to paint the full picture.

Raina started biting on her lip even harder staring at the table in the middle of us. She was a blink away from tears rolling down her face. "They would always say black girls naturally have big bottoms and full lips but they're stomach should always be flat."

"How did that make you feel?"

Raina shook her head. She could no longer hold the tears. I instinctively stood up and went over to her couch to sit beside her. I held on to her hand caressing my thumb across the top. Dr. Mills handed her a box of tissues.

"It made me feel like I'm not enough. It shattered my self esteem, at that early age." She grabbed two tissues out of the box.

"Yeah and do you think that's something you carry with you today?" Dr. Mills asked and Raina nodded her yes. It must've been a realization to her. She had never thought about it that literally before. Dr. Mills gave her a second before moving to the next question. And in that second, I returned to my seat to provide Raina with the proper space to finish the session strong.

"What were some things they would ask you to do?" She continued. Raina inhaled and then exhaled. Her eyes were still fixated on the table. "You mean sexual things?"