More Than A Machine || Connor x Reader D:BH

24| This Isn't Over

"It wouldn't change their view on me." She shook her head. "I'm human, they'll forever see me as a thorn in their side."

"What if we change that though?"

"There's no way to."

A silence sat between them.
"Do you...regret it?"
"Regret what?"
"Shooting that Chloe."
Connor's eyes trailed off.
"I do now. I close my eyes & I see her dead ones staring back. When I did...kill her, I was only thinking about the mission. But, now I regret it. A lot. I regret being handed that gun, even considering to shoot her."
(Y/N) looked at him sadly.
"That's sympathy, Connor. That's an emotion. You felt that because you were changing, you were feeling."
He looked down at her.
"Was it true.. What you said to Markus?"

"What? The fact that my kind is a pile of shit or-"

"That you.."

He faded out, & (Y/N) got the hint.

"Yeah. Yeah I guess I did."

He gave her a dorky half-smile.

"Which is stupid, I know! I mean, I've only known you for, what, a few weeks? It's absolutely psychotic, & yet..." She stared at him.

"It makes so much sense. But who am I to say what love is, right? I mean, you probably don't even know what love is let alone what it feels like. As for me I've never been in love with anyone in a romantic way so overall- yeah I'm just gonna stop talking there."

"What would you say love..feels like?"

"What, in my experience? I've only ever loved my mum & shiny stuff, like those random pieces of quartz you find in rocks along the road. Shit, I've turned into a magpie." She chuckled at herself.

"But..I guess.." She trailed off.

"It feels warm. Not like, uncomfortable weather warm...But the warmth you get in winter. Except this warmth only ever comes around when this person does. They make your heart race. Someone could say their name & your breath could hitch, your pulse could quicken, your cheeks could go red or you just feel happy. You might want to surround yourself with them more. Hear their voice, their laugh, see them smile. You feel like shit whenever they feel like shit. If they cry, you want to, if they're pissed you want to know why so you can get rid of that problem ASAP. You want to be part of their life more and more. You want more and more to hug them, comfort them, make them laugh, make them smile, you just want something, anything from them...Or at least, that's how mum explained it."

She scrunched up her nose.

"Which is confusing 'cause...
Dad was hardly ever around. He barely showed her any love, a quick kiss of the cheek but then he was just...cold. How did mum know so much about this stuff if dad hardly ever made her laugh or comforted her or wanted to know why she was mad or upset? And yeah, she was dating someone else before dad, but she never told me who it was." She furrowed her eyebrows.

"But yeah.. I guess that's what it means." She shrugged. Connor let his gaze drift to the floor, (Y/N) dropping the conversation as Markus made his way over.

"It's my fault the humans managed to locate Jericho."

(Y/N) looked at Connor with guilt. With Perkins' power, he could've easily tracked her voice message to Hank at the drop of a hat.

"I was stupid.." He shook his head. "I should've guessed they were using me."

He took a few steps towards Markus.

"I'm sorry, Markus...I can understand if you decide not to trust me."

"You're one of us now. Your place is with your people." He turned to leave but was cut short.