Red vs Blue Season 11: Male Oc

Rvb S11 E1 "One-Zero-One"

Wash: Hey, Leo!

Leo stops working and walks to the edge, looking down at Wash.

Leo: What!?

Wash: Did you hear that? It came from Red Base, if it's Sarge again I'm going to need your help!

Leo: I thought you wanted my help on the tower!

Wash: He's your father and it's your team! Not mine!

Leo: (Huffs) Fine! I'll be down in a sec!

Leo starts making his down from the radio tower, while muttering to himself.

Leo: (Mutters) "Leo, do this. Leo, do that. Leo, come help me." Why am I surrounded by incompetent jackasses?

Leo finally makes his way as him and Wash start making their way over to the sounds of explosions.

Red Base
To Sarge inside of the blues tank with Simmons standing besides it. Sarge was currently firing at Red Base with the tank.

Simmons: You missed, sir.

Sarge: Dag nabbit! Who in Sam Hill set this thing to inverted?

Simmons: Well sir, statistically most users enjoy...

Sarge let's out an annoyed grunt.

Simmons: Well eh err, it was probably Grif sir.

Grif comes rushing out the base.

Grif (Distance): Hey! What the fuck is going on out here?! Who's firing at our base?

Sarge: We are.

Grif (Distance): You are?

Sarge: Our base is in desperate need of renovations. Figured, I'd tear down the east wing and put in something nice and decorative. Like a mortar cannon.

Grif (Distance): And it didn't occur to you to warn me, before you started blowing holes in the side of the wall?

Sarge just stares at Grif for a moment, before firing at a wall near him, causing Grif to run back inside the base.

Grif (Distance): Oh come on!

Simmons: Direct hit sir.

Sarge: No it wasn't.

Wash and Leo come running up to Sarge and Simmons.

Wash: What are you two doing?!

Sarge points the Cannon at Wash and Leo.

Sarge: Well if it isn't our good friend, Agent Washington and my good old son, Leo!

Wash: Don't try to butter me up.

Leo: Also, can you not point that thing at us, Sarge?

Sarge points the Cannon away.

Sarge: Fine.

Leo: Why do you guys have the blue teams tank? More importantly, why are you shooting our base with it!?

Simmons walks out from, the other side of the tank.

Simmons: We were just borrowing the tank for a little construction work.

Wash: Really? And which one of my men authorized this?

Simmons just quietly stares at Wash.

Wash: It was Caboose wasn't...

Caboose, Wade and Zeta, where standing behind Wash.

Caboose: Probably.

Wash turns around facing the three.

Wash: What are you three doing here?

Zeta: I'm doing my job. Caboose came over here and you told me to keep an eye on him.

Wash: Ok, what about you then, Wade?

Wade: I just wanted to come check out the explosions!

Wash: (Sighs) Of course you did.

Wash turns back around and looks at Sarge.

Wash: Sarge get out of the tank.

Sarge: Not a chance, Blue! Possession is nine-tenths of the law. The other tenth is a tank. I've got both. Besides, we need it to upgrade our quarters.

Leo: Aren't our quarters just fine, though?

Grif comes running out the base.

Grif (Distance): Yea! Now get out of the tank you senile old-

Sarge fires the t​ank at Grif.

Grif (Distance): Fucking son of a bitch!

Sarge: Finger slipped.

Wash: Out now!

Caboose: My turn!

Wash: Please be quiet.

Caboose: (Whispers)  My turn.

Zeta: Maybe, later Caboose.

Wade: Trust me, you do not want to make him that type of promise.

Sarge hops out of the tank, as Wash and Leo walk around the tank to him.

Sarge: This is an outrage! Blue base is built directly, below the crash site. You've got an unfair advantage.

Wash: Sarge, the Reds and Blues aren't fighting. We're just camped at opposite ends of the canyon... in color divided teams. While heavily armed.

Leo: Yep, definitely not fighting.

Sarge: But have you ever considered that fighting is just in our nature? It's almost instinctual. If we're not constantly trying to stab each other in the back... we'll surely die.

Wash: Dear god, I hate you.

Sarge: That's the spirit. He he.

Grif comes running up and stops besides, Simmons.

Grif: We may not be fighting, but you're still way closer to the food storage than we are... and that is something that I will not stand for.

Simmons: You won't stand for anything fat ass.

Grif: If you were a few feet closer, you'd be sorry.

Leo: Grif, you really need to start exercising.

Grif: Hey, I've thought we agreed to never speak that word!

Wash: If we don't ration our food we'll all be sorry. We've yet to get our communications dish online and if we run out of food before we can radio for help we're screwed.

Grif: Buzz kill.

Wash: Come on, you three. We need to go have a chat back at base, along with Private Tucker.

Wash hops in the tank and drives away with Wade, Zeta and Caboose following behind him, back to Blue Base.

Simmons: There goes the revered leader of the Blue Army. What a dick.

Sarge: Fine! We don't need that tank anyway. As many great 21st century movie trailers once said. This is only the beginning. And then text would appear on the screen. And the music would cut out abruptly. and they'd say one... final line of dialog to leave the audience with the ultimate sense of excitement!

Leo: Like what?

Sarge: ...I don't know.

The End
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