Razor Sharp | ✓

Thirty-Seven

♡♡♡

At first, it's like I'm dreaming. I feel like I might faint. I have to lean against the couch opposite her, hardly able to even meet her eyes. When I do, I feel the overwhelming sense that I might just vomit. I can suddenly feel a pressure building against my chest, one that seems to be crushing me.

When she speaks, it's like a match lighting a fire. I explode, I can't contain myself anymore.

"Get out of my fucking house!" I scream, wanting to slap her for having the audacity to walk back in here.

Seven fucking years. That's how long she's been gone, and she thinks that she can waltz in here and everything will be great again?

"El, just—"

I spin around to face Noah, fury radiating off me as my body shakes with anger. "I can't believe you! How could you fucking keep something so massive from me? How could you let this stranger back in, Noah? After everything, how? How the fuck—"

"Elena," my mother sobs from behind me and my spine straightens as I spin around to glower at her.

"What the fuck do you want?" I screech, tearing at my hair to stop myself from doing something crazy. I feel the overwhelming need to punch her.

"Elena, I'm—"

"First of all," I say, laughing bitterly, "my name is not Elena. My name is Ellie. And secondly," I walk closer to her, my finger pointed dangerously close to her face. "Don't you dare say you are sorry because it's seven years too fucking late."

"I know, I know," she says, rising from the couch. I'm surprised to see that I'm now taller than her by several inches. I guess that's what happens when you don't see someone in so long.

"I know nothing I can say will ever be enough to make up for all the years that I wasn't here for the both of you, and—'

"So, why then? Why the hell are you here now?" 

I whirl back around to face Noah. I can feel my face heating with rage. "How long have you known she was in town?"

"Not that—"

"How long, Noah?" I whisper, feeling my anger draining quickly when I look at my brother.

"You have to let me explain, Ellie," he says, putting his arms out like he's afraid I'll attack him. "Let me explain first."

"Fine then," I say bitterly, throwing my arms out at the side, "start fucking explaining because I'd love to hear it!"

"When you were kidnapped...I started looking into finding mum. And then after you were shot, I just...I found her and I knew that she'd want to know about it, she —"

I laugh, angrily. I sound like a crazed woman but I don't even care anymore. "You thought she'd care? You thought, even though she walked out on us seven years earlier, that she would actually give two shits about how I was doing?"

"I do, Elena—Ellie. I do care. I wish I never left you. I wish I never left you both behind. But your father was so hard to—"

I turn around to her again, feeling slightly dizzy from continuously looking at them both. "Don't you dare blame all of this on dad! He may have been hard at times, but you were a coward! He never did anything to hurt you! The only reason you left was because you were bored with your life."

"That isn't true. I love you both so much and I did back then as well. I wasn't capable of being a mother back then, I—"

"Stop," I whisper, holding out my hand. "Just stop trying to make excuses for yourself. It's so tiring to hear."