✔️ BAD NEIGHBORHOOD | hyunbinlix

XXXII

jesus. he really takes his baking seriously.

we get through the first few steps of the recipe, and i throw any remaining hopes that i would keep my dignity during this session out the window. i have sugar all over me (thank god for the apron) and i'm pretty sure there's egg in my hair. i made a few mistakes, but it wasn't anything major, thankfully. jisung already got pretty mad at me for making those. i mean, i stopped whisking the mixture once, and he said 'you absolute fucking walnut', and took the whisk from me and did it himself. honestly, i'm having fun; he's pretty hot when he's pissed off.

it's all worth it when we see the look on eunju's face as we bring a tray of cookies out of the kitchen. before, i wondered why he took time to come and do things for his nanna like this. i used to try and be good for my parents, abide by the rules. they meant well, but i felt like nothing i did was ever good enough for them, so i stopped trying. but she smiles, and praised him, and genuinely wanted to spend time with him. how could you not give in to that?

she asks us to sit with her and eat the cookies and wow, they taste good. that has to be jisung's influence because i'm a mess in the kitchen (literally a mess. i haven't forgotten about the egg in my hair - if that shit doesn't come out when i wash it, jisung's gonna get hearing damage from me screaming over the phone at him).

i can't help but think that eunju must be lonely here, by herself in this retirement home. she seems like a quiet, withdrawn sort of lady - not one that would make many friends. she looks like she's enjoying our company, even though we're just a couple of teenagers with big dreams and even bigger shoes to fill.

all too soon the visit is over. 'hey, thanks for letting me, y'know, bake with you, and, like, meet your nanna and stuff. i really appreciate it.'

'yeah, no worries. it was fun.' we ride down the lift in silence. i run the tips of my fingers over my fingernails. then, he adds, 'you know, you're different than i thought you were, min. it's a good different. you... surprise me.'

i look at his reflection in the doors of the elevator. his orange hair kind of makes him look like a carrot (a cute one), and his eyes are big and curious like always. and he's disappearing into his oversized hoodie. and there's so many things i want to say to him.

"i've been trying to change... for you."

"you look cute."

"you seem different, too."

"i think i like you."

but, for now... 'thanks.'

[ ➳ ]

SEO CHANGBIN ── NOT CHOSEN

'hyunah.'

'the fuck do you want, punk-' i sniffle. there are tears in my eyes. 'hey. are you okay?' i've never heard her being this nice before.

'i n- need your help.'

[ ➳ ]

'you know, it's kind of fucked up that your son has to book an appointment with you to see you. you're his parents.'

'we have busy schedules. by the way... you have ten more minutes,' SEO YOONBI says, looking down at her watch. my mother's always been formal like this - i should be used to it by now, but i still let it affect me. my dad, SEO CHANGWON, is the same. he used to make me call him "sir" - i mean, how fucked up is that?

i came here to tell them something. in the ideal situation, they would be genuinely accepting, and kind, and they would arrange a space in their schedules for it. but just by looking at their faces i can tell that it won't go the way i want it to.

i've met HWANG HYUNJIN's mum. he's arranged for his dad to meet LEE FELIX and i, too, for his birthday in about a month. neither hyunjin nor i have ever met felix's old foster parents, but i don't think any of us want to. but hyunjin and felix have been asking me about my parents for a while now; i can tell they want to meet them. it's not just that, either. i really want their approval of this. i don't quite know why, either. it's not going to stop me if they're all homophobic and end up disowning me, but... i want them to support me at least once in my life.

'i... have a partner.'

'that's great, dear.'

'we're so happy for you.' fake. their smiles are artificial. they just want me out of the way as quickly as possible.

'yeah, well, i have a partner. and another partner. i have two non-human boyfriends. oh, yeah, i'm gay, which you would probably know if you paid more attention to me instead of just shipping me off to a foreign city and leaving me to rot.'

they look shocked. it's rare for me to see any emotion playing on their faces, and i relish in it. sadly, it only takes a few seconds for them to compose themselves again.

'this changes nothing, changbin. we have always, and will continue to love and accept you.' i snort. they never loved me. they had me because they needed an heir, someone to inherit the seo businesses, empire, and wealth.

'well, if you "love and accept" me, will you meet felix and hyunjin?'

'i'm sorry, but our schedules are too busy-'

'bullshit.' usually i wouldn't be so blunt, but they can't hurt me. their words mean nothing to me. 'i asked your receptionist for your schedule info, and he said you're free next week, on saturday.'

'this conversation is over.'

'oh, don't like devoting your free time to your only son? or is it that fact that you're scared of us gays, or scared of non-humans? boo-hoo, so sa-'

'your meeting time is up.' his voice sounds so robotic that it might as well be a recording; i have to do a double-take. 'please exit the conference room promptly. if you do not comply, security personnel can and will be notified.'

i have half a mind to lunge at him for talking like that, but KIM HYUNAH puts her hand on my arm, almost like a warning. 'come on, changbin,' she snarls, standing from her seat. 'they're not worth our time.'

[ ➳ ]

'you know... if your parents won't meet your boyfriends... maybe i can?' i look to her, eyebrows furrowing. why has she been so nice to me? 'or, i-i mean, you don't have to. i get that i'm not the nicest person to be around, and it might give them a bad impression or something, but i am sort of your guardian, and-'

'that would be great.'

she lights up. 'really? that's gre-! that's dope.'

'so... why have you been so nice to me?'

'you've been through a lot.' she turns the key in the ignition of her car. 'i heard you crying at night a while ago. and i did notice when you came home with bruises. and i think you deserve a little kindness.'

'thank you.'