the derry girl || james maguire

twentyone

Niamh's pov

Today was the day, we were going to see Take That. We were all buzzing, sitting on the sofa watching them on the television.

"God almighty, I don't know what the world's coming to. Bloody perverts." Grandpa Joe commented.

"You're overreacting, Da." Mary told him.

"Overreacting? That lad's got no trousers on, for Christ sake."

"He has a great set of pins on him, doesn't he?" Sarah asked.

"For God's sake will you close that window, we're foundered here."

"I need aired, Mary."

"I've five layers on me."

"Five layers? What are you trying to do? Change race?"

"Give us a going over with the hairdryer, will you?"

"Indeed I will not. I've enough to be at."

"Why do they keep touching themselves?" Joe asked.

"Because they're artists, Granda." Erin replied.

"Dirty English bastards is what they are. No offence son." He said to James, and the changed the channel to the news.

"SDLP leader John Hume has again called for cross party peace talks-"

"John's really dying for peace, like, isn't he? It's all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for him." Sarah said.

"Aye, I sort of hope it works out for all of us, Sarah."

"Come on, girls, time to hit the road here." Gerry comes in and tells us. "You've been roped into going too then, son?" Gerry asked James.

"Roped in? Hardly. He's riding Gary Barlow." Michelle said.

"I am not! I just respect him as a songwriter, that's all."

"Aye, dead on, James, so you do."

"Will we need our passports, Gerry?" Orla asked.

"For Belfast? I don't think so, love."

"Belfast!" Joe yelled.

"Are we not a wee bit early, Daddy?" Erin asked.

"It's a two hour drive with traffic, love."

"This thing's in Belfast?!"

"But it's eight hours till the doors open." I said.

"Aye, we're cutting it fine all right."

"Belfast! Sure, why don't you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it?"

"Gerry'll be with them, Da." Mary said.

"That's worse! Sure, they hate his kind there."

"My kind?" Gerry asked.

"Pricks."

"That is enough! They're going to the concert, Da. That's the end of the matter." Mary scolded.

"And, finally, panic at Belfast Zoo today when a polar bear escaped from its enclosure. The RUC have launched a widespread search and have warned residents in the local area to be extra vigilant." The news reported.

"Now will you see sense?" Grandpa said.

"Aye, Granda, cos an escaped polar bear's going to track us down and kill us. As if Mammy's bothered about that." Erin laughed.

-

"Wise up, Mammy! As if a polar bear's going to rock up at a Take That concert!" Erin said.

"He wouldn't get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago." Orla smiled.

"You'd be surprised, girls."

"Aye, thon boys would get in where draughts wouldn't."

"Sure, the concert's nowhere near the zoo." Gerry said.

"But he's not in the zoo anymore, is he, simple Simon? He's sauntering about Belfast without a care in the world." Joe said.

"Aye, keep up, Gerry."

"What I'm saying is, it would be quite a lot of ground for him to cover."

"They're quick on their feet when they want to be, love."

"Or someone might give him a lift."

"Whose side are you on, Orla?" I ask.

"Come on, Mary. If you don't let Erin go, our Mas won't let us go." Michelle complained.

"Well, neither they should! And I'll be ringing them to say as much." Mary said.

"Brilliant!"

"I hate my life." James said.

"Look, girls, I know how much you were all looking forward to seeing This n' That."

"TAKE That!" Erin yelled.

"But there'll be other concerts."

"No, there won't! The fact that this one's happening is a miracle. Nobody good ever comes here cos we keep killing each other!" Erin yelled.

"And now we're overrun with polar bears." Sarah added.

"Where will it end?"

"SERIOUSLY!"

-

We were now in Erin's bedroom, all mopey sitting on her bed.

"Well, I'm not letting the fat, furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life." Michelle yelled.

"What can we do?" Erin asked.

"Listen, girls, I've never told anyone this before but sometimes when Robbie's being interviewed, it's like he's sending me messages through the TV, you know, telepathically or whatever. It's like he's telling me we're going to be together."
Michelle said.

"Aye, maybe don't that to anyone again, Michelle. Ever." I told her.

"Look, this is too important. I'm going to that concert. I'm not afraid of a fucking polar bear!" Michelle said.

"Me either!" I added.

"Nor me." James said.

"Bastard!"

"I'll kill it with my own two hands if I have to." Orla said.

"Bring it on!" Erin yelled.

"Okay, we seem to have gone down a weird road here, people. I think we've got a bit confused. We don't have to fight a polar bear. And, if we did, I wouldn't really fancy our chances because, well, they're massive." Clare started.

"But there's six of us so" Orla said.

"Aye"

"The point is the polar bear's not the one stopping us going to the concert. It's our mothers. And we'll never get them to change their minds."

"We're not gonna try to change their minds." Michelle bent down. "We're going to do something else."

"What?" James asked.

"Lie our holes off."

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(902 words)