Songs of Nightmares and Snow

5- Conflicted Feelings

"I know you two are mates."

I jump and look forward at the sound of Nesryn's voice, and the expression on her face is both knowing and smug.

"How?" I ask, and she chuckles.

"You two are the furthest thing from subtle." She says while shaking her head, and I frown.

"I get how I'm obvious, considering I'm not trying to hide it, but how is she not subtle?" I question.

"For one thing, she let's you call her Snowdrop."

"Lets me?"

"Oh honey, if she didn't like you, she would never let you give her a nickname. Before you came in her life, I was the only one who got away with it." She explains, and a bit of hope flutters in my chest at that. She likes me...and my nickname for her.

"And second?" I ask, having heard the implied multiple reasons.

"Well, last night when she walked in on you, she came back out like the devil was chasing her. I swear to the Goddess I've never seen her face so many shades of red." She laughs, "not to mention that it wasn't exactly the first time we've seen a guy like that, with all the male agents going in and out of the locker rooms and all."

The last part sends a wave of irritation through me that almost drowns out my initial smugness. She's seen other guys like that?

"Don't get all puffed up big boy," Nes says as we stop at the edge of the trees, placing a hand on my shoulder, "as much as a few of the guys hoped she would react, she reacted as if she couldn't even care less that they were even there...because she didn't care at all."

My eyes widen, and Nes chuckles.

"She only reacted to you because she's attracted to you, and truthfully she having a difficult time handling it."

"Why? Why is she trying to push me away Nes? Why is she resisting the mate bond?" I question, and she sighs.

"She's had a hard life...it's difficult for her to trust, and to get attached. Just be patient, I'm sure she'll come around." She murmurs before she turns on her heel and strides deeper into the woods, but as she walks away I hear her say something else under her breath, I can only assume she didn't think I'd hear...

"At least...I hope she does."

Astrea

I head out to the wooded area after putting the food in the car with Nes, who has already returned from her short shift and stretch. However, Thane hasn't returned yet, so I follow his scent into the trees with his coffee in my hand. We need to move on now, we still have five more hours of driving before we get to Whitehorse...not including stops to refuel, eat, and use the restroom.

Stopping where his normal footprints turn into deep holes in the snow, I look around and sniff the air, only to stop when I hear a weird scratching sound come from my left. Walking towards it, I stop and stare in shock as I see a most bizarre sight...

A humongous brown bear, up on its back legs scratching its back against a large tree, content grunting sounds coming from its snout. I lift my shades to the top of my head as I stare, inhaling the scent a few times just to be sure the Kodiak Bear is who I think it is...

Thane.

After a moment of watching he grunts again, and as his mouth opens to reveal a lolled out tongue, a small giggle of laughter escapes me, and I immediately snap my mouth shut as he turns to face me, his golden eyes locking with mine. As he stares with an oddly warming intensity, he drops down to all fours and begins walking towards me, and even at that height he's huge.

I stand completely still as he stops in front of me, lowering his head to meet my eyes, his large nose twitches as he deeply inhales my scent, warm puffs of air hitting my face as he edges closer. Uncertain of how to respond, I remain completely still...and to my surprise he lowers his head some more, enough so that I can see the top of it and his ears...

He...he wants me to touch him?

I hesitate, my empty hand twitching as I argue with myself over what to do. After a moment though, I cave...and I raise my hand to let rest on his big head. He's so warm...and his is surprisingly soft considering how coarse it looks, I allow my fingers to run through it slowly, and he lets out content sounds as I develop a steady rhythm between his ears.

He's like a giant dog...

As I move my hand behind his ears, he pushes closer to me...and I jump a bit as he nuzzles his face into my stomach, the soft rumbling in chest now vibrating through my body. I pause for moment, trying to wrap my head around what's happening right now...as surprised as I am by this though...

He's so cute.

My mouth twitching into a smile, I go back to scratching behind his ears like I would do with Ivory, and his content rumbling gets even louder. It's difficult to believe that I'm petting one of the largest bears in the world right now, he's supposed to be one of the biggest and more aggressive ones in the shifter world...and yet my beloved is acting like an overgrown puppy at my touch-

At that thought I stop, suddenly recalling that I shouldn't be doing this...that we're supposed to be leaving now. And with some reluctance I pull away, dammit...Nes is right, it is getting harder to resist the pull.

"I-You-...we need to go." I force out as he looks up at me, his eyes back to their hazel color, and I can see the clear disappointment in them. With a deep huff, he saunters behind a large grouping of trees, and I turn around to let him shift back and get dressed...I'm not sure if I could handle another event like last nights.

"You bring me coffee Snowdrop? How sweet of you." I hear him chuckle as his boots crunch across the snow and frozen ground, and I turn around to say something back...only to choke on my words as I see him walking towards me with his chest bare, pulling on a white t-shirt over his head. As my cheeks redden I pull my shades back over my eyes, turning away a bit to control my expression. I can still see him from the corner of my eyes though, and I can't help but watch him pull on the long sleeve red flannel shirt he had tied around his waist.

Goddess give me strength.

"Black, two sugars right?" I answer quietly as he stops in front of me, and his answering smile could melt the ice.

"You remembered." He says as he takes it from me, his fingers brushing mine and leaving sparks. He sniffs the cup appreciatively, "I usually like honey in it, but I can substitute sugar." He murmurs as he takes a sip, and I sigh as my nerves finally settle back down.

"We need to get going-" I start, only to stop as I feel his hand touch my cheek. My breath catches in my throat as he gently presses his lips to my forehead, my cheeks flushing red as my heart pounds in my chest.

"Tapadh leibh, a ghràidh..." He whispers as he pulls away, and he flashes me a soft smile before walking away, leaving my mind whirling as I try to figure out what he just said...or what language it even is. I stand out in the cold by myself for a few more minutes, trying to will myself to stop blushing, and my heart to quit racing before I head back to the car. Finally, I calm down again, my mind a jumbled mess of thoughts.

It's definitely getting harder to resist, and he has no intention of making it easy.