Always by your side | Clexa

Chapter 8

When I went to check on Lexa and Aden, I didn't expect to hear my best friend's love declaration. Hearing her words just hit me. I never thought about the way she must've felt when I talked about my boyfriends. I never thought it would've hurt her. I can't believe she feels like she isn't enough. Everyone who knows her looks up to her. She's one of my biggest role model. I always admire how hardworking and devoted she is in everything she did. I never thought she was doing all of that to prove herself she had value.

Did I really broke her heart? Did I fucked up by going back to Finn? Does she really think she has nothing to offer? Lexa is everything anyone could wished for. She's so caring, protective, smart, strong, funny, mindful, generous, playful, loyal. And that's without talking about her physical appearance. Her clear green eyes, her soft brown hair, her sharp jawline, her tanned skin, her firmed arms, her toned stomach. Thinking about it, she's everything I could ever wish for.

Lexa is in love with me. She has never been with anyone because of me. She has been waiting for me for years and years. She never pushed me or expected anything from me. She has always been there. She just admitted that she would wait for me as long as it would take.

I didn't want her to know I heard her so I quickly left and sat back at the same spot. "You okay?" She asked me. Once again, it only showed how much she cares about me. Everytime I ever felt down, she would come and make me smile. Everytime. She wouldn't leave until she made me happy.

I thought about what she had said all night long. Should I told her I heard her? Maybe not.

When she pulled me to the side, I cracked. Maybe it was the worried look in her eyes or the one in her voice. Maybe it was the moonlight reflecting in her eyes. Maybe it was her tongue passing over her lips to moist them. Maybe it was the proximity of our bodies. All I know, is that I wanted- no I needed to kiss her.

Once our lips collided, it felt like all my worries faded away. The moment she kissed me back, all my certitudes were worthless. Finn was the last thing on my mind. But the moment she broke away, everything came back.

"I'm sorry" I apologized, ashamed. "Don't be" she caught my gaze. "I just don't want to be hurt, again" she sighed. "I understand" I nodded before trying to leave. "Wait, Clarke" she held me back by my wrist. "I do want this. But you have to figure out what you want. I won't push you or rush you. All I want you to know is that I will be waiting for you" she reassured me. 'I know you will. You've already been for too long' I thought. "You should get some sleep" she assessed by my yawns. "You too" I remembered that tomorrow she had to go back to building.

I ventured to held my hand out. I felt a heat wave going through my body as her fingers intertwined with mines. It's when you start allowing yourself to feel certain emotions that changes happen. I never allowed myself to feel for Lexa more than friendly. But now that I'm starting to, everything is different. Everything is better.

"Sleep well" Lexa whisepered after pulling my sheets over my chest. "Can you stay with me?" I asked her. "I think your bed is too small and, it's too soon. Like I told you, you have to figure out what you want because if you just act on what you feel at the moment, you'll end up hurting more people than necessary" Lexa politely denied. "Then, good night" I closed my eyes and she dropped a sweet kiss on my cheek.

In one day, everything changed. In one day, everything I thought I knew turned out to be a complete blur. In one day, I started to see my best friend like a possible lover.

I got woken up by the sound of a metal tool falling on the ground. "Go back to sleep" Lexa squatted over my bed. "What time is it?" I asked with the sleepiest and huskiest voice. "It's just 4 am. Me and the others are going to start working earlier. Madi will come at 8" she informed me. "Okay" I huffed.