Can left the bags on the side of the road then pulled his wife into his arms, pressing a tender kiss against her forehead. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?"
"I'll be fine. It's just a few days."
Can smiled. "And you," he said, tapping a thumb against her belly. "Please no surprises until I get back, okay?"
He kissed her again, she had to push him away before the plane left without them. "Go."
She watched them both disappear through the departure gate before Leyla tugged on her arm, pulling her back towards the car which was beginning to cause traffic.
Sanem drove them back to their parent's house, with Arslan in the back of the car. The cats had been left with an overflowing bowl of food and a promise that she would return to check on them in the morning.
Mevkibe was quick to greet them at the front door and even quicker to begin parading her around the village. It had only been two weeks since her last visit - but the mahalle demanded updates on its current favourite topic of conversation. Sanem was not particularly thrilled that her pregnancy was the center gossip, but she had grown up here, she was used to it. Somewhat.
Mevkibe was beaming with pride. Sanem just felt ogled at, like some sort of prize cow. Her parents were just as doting as Can was, and as sweet as their intentions were, it was starting to feel a bit suffocating. It would be nice after the baby was born and all the fawning could be concentrated on him instead.
Sanem tried to help with dinner preparations but she was shushed from the kitchen.
"Sit. Rest your feet, Sanem. You have been at work all day." Mevkibe demanded as she began chopping up vegetables. Sanem huffed, she'd been sat down all day at work too, but her feet were hurting so she didn't argue. She slumped into one of the kitchen chairs, Arslan moved to sit by her feet and let her play with his ears.
"How have things been with Huma?" Her mother asked tentativly.
"Fine." Sanem let out a deep breath. "We're taking things slow. I haven't seen much of her but she's been spending time with Can, trying to make him come around."
"It was very big of you to forgive her, Sanem. Though I must admit, I'm not happy that I have to share being a grandmother now. I was hoping to have my grandson all to myself." Sanem knew her mother meant it but there was no real heat behind her words.
"Don't worry. You're still going to be his favourite." Sanem was sure of that. Huma may have been allowed to step into their lives again, but she had miles to go before they could ever fully trust her with their son. They would allow her a role in his life, but whether they would let him call her 'grandma' was yet to be determined. "I have been meaning to ask - I was wondering, after the baby is born, if you would be willing to stay with us for a while? We can set up one of the spare rooms for you, I think I will feel better knowing you're there to begin with."
"Of course," Mevkibe smiled softly. "I'll stay as long as you need me. A few days - a few weeks. Make sure to kick me out when I've outstayed my welcome." She winked. "How are you feeling about it all, about bringing him home?"
"I'm excited." She chewed her lip. "But I start to get worried when I realise that I'm not just bringing a baby home. I'll be bringing a baby home that's going to turn into a kid. A kid that were actually going to have to raise. Can has bought so many of these parenting books and I don't understand, they all have so many different ideas - half of which contradict each other. It's so daunting. How are we actually supposed to know what to do, to know what's right? How did you do it?"
Mevkibe left the pan simmering. "Well, it was slightly easier when I did it because there weren't a million conflicting instruction manuals." She laughed, sitting down next to her daughter. "If there is one thing I learned about raising you girls, it's that you're never going to feel like you're doing anything perfectly. Parenting is hard. Kids are hard. You will have moments where you feel like you're not good enough, that you are failing, that they hate you. And unfortunately, these moments aren't going to be rare. This is going to be the most challenging thing you've ever done. You'll have everyone throwing their opinions at you. Some may be helpful, most will not. All you can do is what feels right for you. Don't become too hung up on following word-for-word the instructions in those silly parenting books. Most of them were written by phycologists who have only ever interacted with kids behind glass walls. Recognise when you need to ask for help and don't be afraid to do so. But trust yourself. You are unjustly kind, amazingly patient and one of the most caring people I know, and I am so incredibly proud of you. So stop worrying. You're going to be great at this."
---
Sanem shuffled in the bed. The mattress and blankets were the same she'd slept on for years but they didn't feel as comfortable as they once had. It was strange how quickly her bedroom in the mahalle had stopped feeling like home. She sighed, pressing her nose into Can's pillow, one she had bought from home because it smelled like him. The baby wouldn't stop shifting around, as if he was just as unsettled in this bed as she was. As if he could tell she was lonely.
"I love you, but if you wouldn't mind settling down now that would be great. If we don't get to sleep neither of us are going to be particularly happy tomorrow."
He must have been in a mischievous mood as he still refused to quiet down. Sanem sighed, defeated, standing up and wrapping the blanket around her like a fluffy cloak, holding Can's pillow in one hand as she ventured into the hallway, leaving Arslan passed out on her bedroom floor.
"Leyla?" She spoke softly, creaking her sister's bedroom door open. "Are you awake?"
"Mhm," Leyla yawned drowsily, blinking at the light that filtered in from the hall. Noticing Sanem's silhouette in the doorway, she lifted up her duvet in invitation. Sanem soon snuggled under it. Despite the near darkness, Sanem still noticed the amused smile on her sister's face.
"What?" She asked.
"You are very cute like this," Leyla replied softly.
"Like what?" Sanem squinted her eyes slightly, waiting for her sister to elaborate.
"You've turned into a little cuddle-bunny." Her sister smiled. "It's adorable. It's a good thing you're going to have someone to cuddle soon." The thought made Sanem's heart feel warm. "How is the little lamb?"
"He doesn't feel like a lamb at the moment. I think he's turned into a hippo."
"I can see that." Leyla laughed gently. "Your tummy is taking up the whole bed."
"Sorry," Sanem giggled quietly. "Do you want to feel? He's very restless at the moment."
Leyla nodded. Sanem took her sister's hand and placed it under her pajama top against her skin. Leyla could feel the gentle drumming of her nephew's feet under her palm, it was almost as if he were skipping. It wasn't the first time she'd felt him, but it never seemed to lose its magic.
"What does it feel like? Not just the kicking, but the whole... the whole pregnancy thing..." Leyla asked. Sanem was mildly taken back at the wistful look on her sister's face. Leyla had always been so career-driven, so ambitious. She'd never shown much of an interest in kids before.
"It's..." Sanem thought for a moment. "It's wonderful. And terrifying. I love him more than anything, more than I thought was even possible. And he's not even here yet - I think my heart might explode."
They talked for a while. Arslan eventually joined them, jumping on the bed and nuzzling against Sanem's hand, wondering where she had disappeared to.
"Offff, Arlsan. I don't think you realise how big you've gotten." Leyla whined when he stepped on her lap.
With three of them - plus Sanem's growing belly - the bed was getting crowded. Yet Sanem didn't last long before her eyes began drooping shut, the little boy in her tummy settling down.
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