Beside You • Luke Hemmings • EN VERSION

Single Chapter

The problem with breaking up with someone who you've been with for years is that you also break up with their family and friends as well. People who you really got close to just like the person you were actually in a relationship with. That's how it was for Luke and me; dating for nearly two years then losing it all due to the fact we were both on different paths in life, he touring successfully with his band and me in my fourth year of architecture college. It wasn't easy; well, breakups never are but we both knew it was the best thing to do.It was a rainy night about six months ago; I'd asked him to come over to talk; we both knew what was coming. We delayed the talk for hours, making cookies and watching a movie. It only made me sadder, though; knowing the end was coming.
- Luke I - I whisper, muting the t.v. and turning to him who picked at the hole in his jeans
- I know.... - he murmured - I know what your going to say. I just - he paused, his voice choked as he cleared his throat - I just don't want to hear you say th-
- That I can't do this any longer? - I interrupted.
I nodded my head, standing up and wiping the tears that were flowing down my cheeks. Luke's hand reached up and grabbed mine, pulling me gently in front of him and holding me as I cried into his chest.
- I'm sorry, I just think it's for the best. - I say in between labored breaths, Luke's chest moved slowly as he breathed in and out, knowing I was right. - you have no idea - I made a pause due to the tears - of how much I miss you right the moment after you cross that door with your bags. The pain that is seeing you go to so far. Seems like a fucking hole in the middle of my chest, Luke.
- Liz, it's ok... We... - He stepped back and bet down a little so he could face me while holding my arms - we can make this work. Just a couple of months and we wi-
- Months? - I pushed him - Luke you're not asking me a couple of days out or one or two weeks with your parents. You're asking me for MONTHS. Months where there are days that you don't even care about checking your phone and answering my messages. Months where I don't even know in which fucking city you are. All of this while I'm here Luke, - He was crying by this time - waiting for you to cross that fucking door for us to play into our make-believe world til you leave again.An uncomfortable silence took over where all we could hear was the pouring rain on the window and luke's tears.
- I - I understand. - He nodded while sniffed and put his hands into his pockets - It will be better for you - He hesitated - and fo- for me. But I want you to know that I'll always love you, Liz. - He whispered into my hair, kissing my forehead "You know that right?" he asked, picking my face up as my eyes were swollen and forced to meet his that were shining with tears. I nodded my head,
I wanted one more night with him, one more night where I fell asleep in his arms after we made love.
- I want one more night with you. Please. - I whisper, shaking my head sadly as I held his face in between my trembling hands.Looking at me, Luke parted his lips and kissed me deeply as he picked me up carrying me back to my bedroom where we shared the best night of our lives, together, one last time, knowing that when I woke he'd be gone, gone from my life forever.
The six months separated from Luke seemed like ages but despite this, I grew stronger and found myself being able to focus on college as I had needed all along. Yet, there were times late at night where I found myself wanting him, tempted to text him, but however, finding the strength to refrain knowing he was just as busy as myself. It was inevitable not missing him, even pass through some gossips fans and fake news about him, but I tried my best to stay away from everything that could remind me of him. At least for a while. But when I accepted Ashton's holiday party invitation, I wasn't exactly putting two and two together. Luke and Ashton were best friends, I knew he'd be there, looking amazing as always so I began the process of getting mentally prepared for this earlier than most.I was nervous, butterflies beating rapidly in my stomach as the time arrived and I found myself knocking on Ashton's front door, the music softly head through the wood as footsteps approached and Ashton answered, his smile soft as he welcomed me in, Calum and Michael there as well along with a few other familiar faces I'd seen while dating Luke. It was good to see everyone, just like old times somewhat before the band hit popularity nationwide. I grabbed a drink and joined Calum and Michael who stood at the fireplace.
- So - Michael broke the silence - Six months huh?
- Six months - I repeated thoughtfully while facing my drink. - I've been really busy, you know. It's been good for me.
- Really? Calum stared at me while Mike had a sad look on his face.
- Really. - I nodded. I missed them both but I couldn't keep any contact after the break u with Luke. It was like scratching a cut, it would never heal.
- He missed you a lot - Calum continued while I faced him confused - Luke. It was really hard for him, the whole thing. In the beginning, he believed you would come back. Every fucking night he thought about calling you. He just doesn't want to move on or believe one way or another you would too. That tore him apart, Liz.
I agreed but something inside of me hurt. Imagining Luke like that was too painful, and even after all this time, I haven't moved on yet. The doorbell noise rumbled through the room and Ash ran to answer it. I saw Calum changing looks with Michael and immediately I knew who was behind the door.
- Luke! - Michael called him with a sad voice, more to himself than to me, while I was frozen, facing Michael. - I missed you - Mike whispered, shrinking his shoulders and smiling at me, right before Luke come to us and sit between me and Calum.
- You look unbelievably beautiful, Liz - He whispered, I smiled softly.
- It's good to see you, Luke. - I said gently before saying sorry and find someone else in the middle of the familiar faces to talk. During all the night, didn't matter where I was, I always felt Luke's eyes on me; it was rousing and just reminded me how much I missed it. Having his arms around my waist, his lovely laugh. Have I made the right decision? To finish everything. I thought that way back in that time, but now I was starting to regret.
Walking around the house, alone, I admired the things that Ashton had used to decorate the house to the party; he really had spent a long time in it, so much that I was shocked, and assumed to myself that Anne, his mother, should have helped with most things. I smiled for myself while coming back to the party, seeing Calum and Michael taking great sips of beer and Ashton cheering. I leaned against the balcony wall and soon felt his warm breathing in the back of my neck.
- Total idiots - Whispered Luke, moving by my side while I was nervously laughing and cleaning my sweating hands on my jeans.
- You're the one who taught them this. - I replied, smiling at Luke who gave me a cheerful laugh.
- Do you remember that party we almost got arrested? The five of u-
- We hid in the bathroom!!! - I laughed, finishing his sentence and seeing Calum pointing at us with his head and looking at Michael, who was waving and pointing to something above our heads. We both looked up, at the same time, and saw the green plant slowly swaying as I watched Luke nervously nibbling his bottom lip.
- Come on, Hemmings. - I whispered, turning slowly to face him while he looked at me surprised. I shrugged as I smiled, playing with his blonde hair. - What? It's Christmas, and it's the mistletoe. - I make a pause pointing up. - We kinda have to kiss each other. - I joked, while Luke smiled and stepped ahead.
- Just like old times. - He whispered his mouth opening and coming in m direction, playing with my bottom lip a little.
- Just like old times. - I confirmed, gathering our lips and getting lost in the moment but finding myself on his arms. I knew I didn't want anyone but him; forever.