Just real thoughts

Huh

I'm back again not that anybody would actually notice or care about him so I'm here again trying to get words out of my head because it's not working out so I told her this would be therapeutic to you just get it all out of my head because that's where I keep everything don't really like talking about myself but people just for the simple fact that I know people don't care in the therapist is way too expensive I know it is that I feel like everything is the end of the world there's never not a time when something goes wrong but it isn't the end of the world and every time it goes better I always look like a fool because I react as if it's the end of the world that my life is over how incredibly spoiled I am I've noticed that I am a control freak but everything has to be my way or it's a problem and that is the problem may be a control freak I shouldn't have to be a control freak if I can just use on with life but I can't I can't just ease on with life everything has to be sad or so away I have to know everything if I don't know then it's a problem because there's a fact that I could actually happen and I would have to be left face with a consequence of me not knowing what the heck is going on I don't like not knowing I always have to be aware of the situation that I man like if we're going on a ride anywhere I always half to ask where we going what's going on how are we gonna be gone for how long are we staying what time are we going back never not a time when I just relaxing just joyride people call it anxiety people call it being impatient and apparently I overreacts to everything there's never not a time where I'm not overreacting for something because something is unknown to me or am I getting my way and you know it's always my fault when something goes wrong it's always my fault when something isn't done or is always my fault for just me getting upset it's always my fault no one can ever take responsibility for anything else is always my fault is never not my fault I don't know what to do how to react if I want to react I just don't know I want to scream I want to cry I want to be angry with the world and blame everybody but sometimes it is actually my phone I don't like being alone that's my biggest thing if I'm alone automaticallyA problem but again these are just words coming out of my head