Archaic ||Peterick||

Dont Eat Soap

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!" Patrick snapped at Pete.

Pete teared up and pulled the hood of Patrick's orange jumper up. He had been cuddling up in it for the past few hours, sleeves pulled over his hands and the bottom pulled over his knees.

He turned away from the younger boy the best he could in the small, confined space and sniffled. Patrick yelling meant he was mad, and him being mad meant he could kill him... again.

Patrick glanced at him and groaned, he thought being with another fully grown man would mean some sort of maturity, obviously for once he was wrong.

"You're really that sensitive?"

Pete just crossed his arms over his chest with a quiet huff. He stared out the window at the passing streetlights and trees in the middle of nowhere.

"Pete.." Patrick groaned out. He didn't really care about Petes 'precious feelings' but he couldn't handle a long drive with a moody Pete.

He sighed softly.
"Hey listen, there's a coffee shop in an hour or so, we can stop there if you want?"

Pete had been pestering him for a place to stop, even threatened Patrick he'd piss in his car, but to no avail. He immediately perked up at the thought of stretching his legs and looked over at him. He slowly pulled the hood down and flattened his hair out.

"Promise?"

Patrick rolled his eyes "promise."

Pete hesitantly held out his pinky, making Patrick groan loudly and exaggeratedly. Despite his annoyance he shook his pinky, making Pete immediately brighten up.

"Are we ther-"

"One more word out of your mouth, Peter Louis Kingston Wentz the third, and I swear to fuck!"

Pete huffed "Hey! Wait! How do you know my full name?!"

Patrick gave him a pointed look that immediately shut him up.

"You told me."

"Did not. No questions about Patrick's knowledge, got it." He muttered under his breath.

Patrick resisted a face palm. Pete began fiddling with the radio, making a static buzz fill the car. Patrick couldn't stand it and quickly turned it off, of course making pete complain.

Pete quickly got over himself and even though a few minutes ago was worried of what Patrick could do, now he had thrown caution to the wind. He smiled widely and poked Patrick's cheek.

Patrick swatted him away... the first few times before letting it become a thing.

"Hey, hey Patrick?"

"What, Pete?"

"Why do you think people play guitar?"

"There are many reasons, Pete"

"But why don't they just.... become the guitar?"

Patrick stayed silent at that, leading Pete to believe he was thinking about it, not marvelling at Petes stupidity. Maybe if he'd left the static on Pete would've kept quiet.

"How the hell-"

Pete leaned over the gears to whisper in Patrick's ear one word that officially made Patrick believe Pete was the dumbest person he had ever met.

"Evolution." He started strumming his hair while making off-key guitar noises.

In just over an hour, Patrick had managed to locate a coffee shop and get Pete inside without too much hassle. As Pete sprinted to the bathroom, Patrick lay out his map on the small, crusty table.

The two boys were accompanied by a clinically exhausted waitress and an old man dressed nicely, Patrick briefly wondered what he was doing at a place like this at this time of morning and if he was still breathing.

He ordered himself a regular black coffee and Pete whatever on the small menu had the most sugar.

Pete came tumbling back and perched himself on the seat across from Patrick, grinning. Patrick questioningly raised his eyebrow. Pete, for some reason, took that as a go ahead to shove his hands in Patrick's face.

"Doesn't the soap smell great?!"

Patrick's scolding was halted by the waitress giving them their coffees, almost falling asleep on their table and walking back behind the counter to wait for presumably nobody.

Pete happily sipped on his iced-mocha-latte-whatever-the-hell-thingy happily.

"Look Pat, it has sprinkles."

"That's great Pete. Now we need to work out where we are," he took a gulp of his own coffee before putting it down on the map, the whole thing taking up the table.

Pete scanned the map upside down and pointed at a certain spot near the top left corner.

"Somewhere here, I saw that monument thing on the way here."
Pete informed him smugly, glad to be of some form of use.

From Petes comment, Patrick was able to pin-point their location, how far they'd get before sunrise and what motels they could stop at.

They downed the rest of their coffee, Patrick cursing at the coffee ring left on the map, before paying, getting petrol from down the road, and getting back on the freeway.

Pete was slowly dozing off in the passengers seat before a loud piercing sound broke through his vision of dogs jumping over a fence. He groggily rubbed his eyes and was thrown Patrick's Phone.

"Answer it, put it on speaker, say my name and that you're in the car with me." Patrick demanded.

Pete rolled his eyes but answered the phone and put it on speaker. "Hi, this is Patrick's car, I'm Pete and I'm here."

Patrick held back a groan, all his business deals were going to go down the drain with Pete. He was seriously considering leaving him somewhere and driving away.

"Who the hell is Pete?"

"I'm Patrick's boyfriend," he supplied helpfully.

Patrick almost crashed the car with the soul purpose of smacking Pete with everything he had.

"He is NOT my boyfriend!" Patrick yelled.

Pete had dropped the phone and was now clutching his cheek and crying. Patrick's hand mark was bright red and god fuck did it sting like a bitch.

Patrick sighed and tried to stifle Petes sobs anyway he could, eventually giving up and picking up the phone.

"I didn't call you as a joke, Patrick," the gruff voice sounded through the phone.

"Right yeah, what's up, Frank I'm guessing?"

"Yup, it's Tyler.."

"If this is what I think it is-"

"It is."

"Oh shit.."

"Please Patrick, he needs to be exorcised."

"We'll be there as soon as possible."

"Patrick, if that blubbering mess I hear is coming with you, keep him in check." And with that, Frank hung up.

Patrick threw his phone into the backseat and rubbed his eyes. It was really not his day.