so i made a post abt bp's cb on my instagram and gave some constructive criticism
but apparently my one irl
the last person i could consider my "friend" that i see irl
said "youre not allowed to give criticism unless it's bts-related"
and im like?? this is so petty?? but it still fucking stings anyway
like theres smth stuck in my chest again
and my heart is racing against a cheetah
but im supposed to be doing hw but i cant focus
i cant think straight
my hands are shaky and my lips are dry again
i know i need to drink water but
i feel frozen
in place
like the world stopped spinning
and i just want to cry again but the tears dont want to fucking go out
like i was turned to stone
and im numb again
grey
numb
hollow
lifeless
why does it hurt so much anyway
is it bc ive been nothing but a good friend yet im paid shit
it's always like this
al fucking ways
first my crush who i got close to that became a jackass and spread rumors about me
second my best friend for five years who stopped talking to me to be popular w the gossipy bitches
now my last fucking irl friend over smth as petty as constructive criticism
i havent felt this lonely in years
it just keeps happening again and again
and what am i supposed to do
stop being a good person?
give up entirely?
but i need to study
i just want to let it out somehow, but it's still there
the hurt's still there
im being impulsive again
i set my wallpaper to smth rlly edgy
and i want to delete everything ive done w that irl
but maybe it's too quick to react
i need to think straight
but i dont know how
well thats it for me fellas back to the memorizing and regurgitating of useless facts
