Growing.

S26.

"What you doing today?" I asked him walking to the closet to find something to wear.

"Ima go chill with Dallas and them." I nodded. "Why?"

"Just wanted to know, I'm going home so I can help my mama cook." I told him. "Are you taking my baby, or no?"

"Nah, she can stay here with you because I don't know what we finna get into and I don't want her around all them niggas."

"Okay." I said slipping on my socks. "I'm staying home tonight."

"I'll come see about you later tonight." he said making me smile and nod.

"Okay, I love you." I told him, kissing his lips and grabbing Blair.

"I love you too." he grabbed me pulling me back and kissing me again then Blair.

•

"Sincere, it wasn't that funny." my mama said staring at me.

"Yes it was because why would you trip and fall like that?" I laughed with tears coming down my face.

"Akikiki I could've broke my damn hip, then the fuck what?" I started laughing harder. "Get put my damn room, Sincere."

"Okay, okay, okay." I said taking breathes to stop laughing. "I'm done, why'd you call me in here again?"

"I want to talk to you, irritating." I looked at her confused. "With thanksgiving coming up, I want you to know how thankful I am for you."

"Mama-"

"I have allowed some terrible things to happen to you, Sincere. I think about it everyday and I'm so sorry for that Sincere, if I could take it back I would. There's no excuse for my behavior, I can't blame the drugs or the death, only myself." she said to me with tears coming down her face.

"It's okay mom."

"It's not okay. You forgave me and I thank god everyday because you're all I have left in this world Sincere and I need you. Now you have a baby of your own and I just let you down as a mother and I-"

"Mom it's okay, I promise. I don't hold anything against you, I know you weren't in your right mind and I can't hold that against you. I just can hope that you see what's happened to me and never put me through that again, you don't have to keep apologizing." I said pulling my shirt up because Blair was on my boob but stopped eating. "I love you, and your grandchild loves you and as long as you never go back to drugs again we'll always be in your life. Always."

It didn't take me much to forgive her, maybe because I'm too nice and forgiving but she's my mother. Before she got addicted to drugs she was my mother, a great mother who loved me and my dad. Everyone makes mistakes, I can't hold that against her because I would to be forgiven. I just hope she realizes how it hurt me and never does it again, because I don't know if I can be so forgiving.

•

"So who be watching Blair when you go to school?" Asim asked me.

"Your mom or dad or my mom." I told him.

"You ain't tell me Malisa was watching her." he said making me look up from my phone.

"Is that a problem?" I asked raising my eyebrow.

"Nah, I'm just saying, it would've been nice to know." I looked at him confused. "Ion think I want her alone with Blair."

"Why? I'm confused." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I mean she just got off crack and I don't trust her around my daughter alone. Anything could happen."

"Boy you sound dumb as fuck, my mother wouldn't put her in harms way and when I don't have anyone she's always there to watch her with no problems so."

"She put you in harms way so who's to say she won't with my child?" I looked at him like he was dumb.

"Bitch don't do that shit, my mother went and worked hard to get her life back. Don't ever throw that shit up in my face, fuck wrong with you?" I said. "I just don't understand where this is coming from? My mother been clean for six months and I'm not finna sit here and let you disrespect her period."

"Ain't nobody disrespecting her, I'm just saying. She could relapse at any time and I'm not comfortable with my daughter being here with her alone. Period, she's a recovering crack addict that's not safe."

"This that shit I be talking about, my mother is clean bitch! Stop fucking throwing that shit up and holding it over her head. That's her grandchild just as much as it's your mothers." I shouted making Blair start crying.

"Look at you, doing too much." he said picking Blair up.

"Get out my mother house." I told him. "I don't want you uncomfortable in a crackheads home."

"I never called her a crackhead, you dragging it now." I looked at him blankly. "My baby here I'm not leaving, get the fuck over your attitude I ain't seen her in a month, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Tryna be fucking sensitive over some dumb shit, I said I don't want her here alone with your mother, this my child why is that a problem?"

"It's a problem because that's my fucking moth-"

"Who did crack."

"Yo get the fuck out! Get the fuck out! Fuck you bitch!" I yelled grabbing Blair from him.

I stood at the door with it open waiting for him to get up and walk out. He looked at me blankly before grabbing his shit and leaving.

Fuck him.

heyyyyyyy bitches! this book growing so damn quick, I got sooooo many new readers. hey y'all!

tomorrow the last day of spring break and then I go back to school and take the PSAT's, the state finna be looking at my shut baffled as fuck because that shit gon be marked as all c's.

Q33: would you rather be poor but help people or become incredibly rich by hurting people?

poor definitely.

Q34: would you rather find your true love or a suitcase with five million dollars inside?

bitch what would city girls do? tf.

byeeeee.