Detrimental

Comfortable

Take me to the rooftop, i wanna see the world when i stop breathing.

Tears cascade down my face, almost like a waterfall.

Turning blue.

I remember the things i've messed up. The things i should never have done, things i shouldn't think. Here i am. In this mess i've created, my life in the hands of my mind.

Tell me love was endless,

It was kind of nice having an over view of life, almost like a birds eye view.  You could see everything and the worst events were so, clear.

Don't be so pretentious.

I had everything planned out, each little step to the end of this pit full of pain.  I had everything laid out, every single detail was implanted into my mind.  I would rehearse it through my mind every single day.

Leave me, like you do.

I gave myself one last minute to think about all of my friends i love, each and every one of them had a part in the note i will leave by my bedside table.

If you need me, wanna see me.

I wasn't able to see them one last time, i couldn't hide these feelings anymore.  Especially when now i'm completely broken, and there's nothing to fix me with.

Better hurry, 'cause i'm leaving soon.

I took out the special leather box in the draw of my bedside table, the feeling of the box felt so familiar to me, i had held it many times.  This would be my last time holding it in the weight of my hands.
I specially wanted to make sure i passed without the pain that lingers from a blade. 

Sorry can't save me now.

I took the lid off of the leather box.  The box contained two things: nurofen for the pain and a blade.  A brand new one at it, it was quite shiny to the eye.

Sorry i don't know how.

i took the pain killer between my fingers, popped it in my mouth and washed it down with my favourite drink, sarsaparilla.  Nothing could beat that drink, it was so uniquely flavoured.  There was nothing quite like it on the market.

Sorry there's no way out (sorry)

I took the small, slim, shiny blade between my fingers like i did with the pain killer.  The shape of it felt so fitting to the grooves in my fingers, and the way it just sat there almost felt natural to me.  I held it against my wrist, close to many other scars littered on my arm.  There was a small gap where no scars laid, i promised myself i would leave this gap for when 'the time' had come.

But down.

I heavily pressed it against the clear skin, moving it to the left a little.  Behind the gash left a large trail of blood.  I repeated this movement once or twice more, a little more lightly.  With the blade still in my hand, i took it and carefully placed it back into the box where it belonged, putting the box next to the note on my bedside table.  I then laid myself in a comfortable position on my warm bed.  My body practically melted into the feeling, as well as my mind melted away too.

Hmm, down.

My vision slipped away as i fell into what felt like an eternal unconsciousness.