KILL'ER • BTS

7 . R E C O R D E D

Stop that!

I felt so stupid.

Slowly laying my head over the desk, I shut my eyes, trying different ways of stopping the marathon of thoughts I had when, suddenly, my ears lightly heard Jungkook talking to someone on the phone in his office.

Silly walls of paper.

The hurt voice in my head made my spine shiver once, my heart forcing my lungs to breathe in and out, peacefully trying to change the subject.

Cover your ears.

It was not the right time to think about mom.

Are you sleeping?

Crap.

I couldn't just avoid it.

I missed her. I missed her touch, her voice, her protection. She had her flaws and her less good moments, of course she did, yet she also tried to be a good mom.

I didn't have much memories of those times indeed, but I knew she tried her best, I was sure about that.

However, at the same time, she was no longer there and I was no longer hers. I had been given a new family, my mother and my dad, Minho, Taehyung, the company, Sooyoung too. And that was why I couldn't get it. Why was mom always inside my head? Bringing all those messed up memories of a boy, lights, groans, of a wardrobe and a stage.

What was all of that supposed to mean?

"No sleeping!"

"Ah-" I unconsciously yelled at the sudden real voice as I immediately raised my head, sighing in relief once I noticed it was just Namjoon.

"What? Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I thought it was Mr Jeon, for a moment." I took a deep breath. "So I could not be happier to see you."

I forced a smile as Namjoon forced his, watching him walk over to some new big boxes and grab them with both his arms before leaving again.

"You better not check the internet today, by the way." He said once he reached the corridor.

⋅⊱⋅ ⋅⊰⋅

I silently walked into the main administrative offices of LIR.E, closing each door I opened and fixing each thing I disordered.

The surveillance cameras weren't fixed yet, which meant I couldn't just waste the luckiest opportunity of exploring documents and places without being seen.

Besides that, since it was lunchtime time, it was much rarer to find workers out of the canteen or the café, giving me enough time to look for the things I didn't know a single thing about.

Focus, Minhyan.

The administrative offices were quite organized, clean, immaculate. Clearly smaller than I had expected them to be. However, despite all that tidiness, some computers were still on and some pens missed their lids.

Opening another door, I was quick to get inside to look around, slightly sighing before opening a few, reading the titles of every single document my eyes landed on.

"No, not this," I mumbled to myself, my fingers skillfully putting everything in the right place once I finished taking a look through the many pages.

After closing the second explored drawer, I raised my gaze to glance at the wall in front of me, the emptiness in the offices permitting me to continue my attentive search.

"It is all for him," I mumbled again. "For him and dad."

I could still remember the moment my mother told me how much she loved her family on the beach, the warm water of the ocean touching our feet, her eyes closing at the comfortable feeling. She was not happy there though. The sunset brought her peace, but not happiness, that was different.