Same, but Different

•Chapter XII•

I bit my lip, shaking my head. "Not anymore. I did, but not anymore." My hand went to Matthew's, holding it softly. "I promise."

Matthew pressed his lips against mine gently, pulling away sadly. "If you ever had to choose one of us, who would it be?"

"You!" I argued, "I'm here now, aren't I?"

"You don't love me, Eren."

"I can learn to!" I felt tears swim in my eyes for a different reason, my arms wrapping around Matthew to try and keep him near me.

"No," he said firmly, "that's not how it works. Not in our case, anyway."

I pressed my lips softly against Matthew's, trying to close the space between us. I pulled away with tears trickling down my cheeks. "I'm sorry..."

He laughed bittersweetly. "You haven't done a thing wrong, Eren. You're perfect."

"But so are you!" I said, rubbing away the tears.

"He loves you too," Matthew replied. "I see how you both look at each other, like it's your destiny to love one another. You should go to him, say you love him. Be happy!"

I nodded slowly. "I'm so sorry, Matthew."

"Don't be, every day I've spent with you has been perfect."

I pulled him into a hug. "Thank you, Matthew."

"You know, I wish you'd pick me, Eren." Matthew whispered, his arms wrapped around me. "I mean, I won't hurt you. I'm the local policeman, the good guy."

"You are a good guy," I replied. "You may even be the best guy, the kinder guy, but... I don't think you're my guy. You'll make someone really fucking happy someday though."

Matthew placed a kiss on my forehead. "Go get your man."

I gave him a brief peck. "You really did make me happy. Thank you for that."

-

"Levi!" I yelled as I entered the house. I was slightly scared something had happened to him. I'd seen him die before me once, I didn't want it to happen again, "Levi! Where are you?!"

I kept calling his name with no response, my heart breaking with every piece of silence until Richie nudged me and started to lead the way to Titan's and my room where I found Levi, Aki, and Titan all curled up together and asleep, their cheeks stained with tears and eyelids puffy from crying. They were all so close to each other, holding each other for support.

I quietly walked over to the three, my hand lacing into Titan's hair first. He opened his eyes groggily, crying once he saw me. "D-Daddy..." He threw his arms around me, and I wrapped him up tightly in my hands.

"Hey, Ty, I'm okay," I kissed his forehead. "I'm okay, I'm here now."

"I-I thought y-you were gonna leave me," he sniffled.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I-I love you too,"

Aki sat up, rubbing her eyes. "H-Hello, Mr. Eren."

"Hey, Aki." I smiled faintly, opening my arms in case she wanted a hug too.

She slowly moved out of Levi's grasp and crawled up to me, sitting expectantly. She moved slowly, her arms outstretched with an expression of both pain and relief.

I pulled her into my torso, squeezing the young girl tightly to assure her I was actually here. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're okay," she whispered, hugging me tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Aki," I replied, my eyes trailing to Levi. "You're like my daughter. Is... is he okay?" 

She bit her lip. "I don't know."

I moved to sit by Levi, my hand going to his cheek and gently outlining his eyebags. "I'm sorry I did this to you all."

Levi's eyes cracked open and he looked at me like I was a spector.

"H-Hi," I stuttered out, offering the raven an awkward smile.

The male watched me with a hurt expression. "Hi."

"I, uh, I wanted to talk to you..."

He stood up shakily. "Okay."

"It doesn't have to be now." I said, "Y-You can sleep if you need to."

"I'm fine." He exhaled and walked out of my room and started towards his bedroom, leaving the door open.

I followed hesitantly, the adrenaline and confidence from before slowly fizzling away with every step. I closed the door behind me, leaning against it for support. "So..."

Levi watched me. "What is there to talk about? You left. I chased after you and tried to make sure you were okay and I started remembering and you left. No one knew how you were or when you'd come back..."

"I'm sorry." I apologized firmly, "I'm sorry, Levi, it was just a lot to take in. I know I fucked this whole thing up, with walking away and everything, but I'm here now. I am. And if you'll let me, I want to be here to stay..."

"I... I want you to stay. Don't... Don't leave again."

I nodded. "I won't." I bit my lip, "I, um... I-I broke up with Matthew..."

Levi stepped closer to me. "Does that mean that we're going to be together?"

I shrugged lightly. "I don't know."

"Do you love me? Did you stop?"

I shook my head slowly. "No, I didn't stop. I really do love you, Levi, I just... I don't really know how much I trust you."

Levi closed the distance between us, holding my head in his shaky hands as his eyes went glassy and geared up. "I love you too. I swear. You're the one I'm supposed to be with. I'd fight a billion titans just to have you." He grabbed my hand and placed my hand to his chest where his heart was thundering a mile a minute. "Feel my heartbeat. We didn't get the chance to have the family we wanted then, but now... now there's nothing stopping us. I'm hopelessly in love with you, Eren, and I won't lose you this time..." I saw something inside him crack and he seemed desperate like never before. He fell down onto his knees, looking up at me pleadingly as he gripped my pant legs. "No, not when we've been given this chance to be what we used to dream about. We can make our dreams into reality. W-We can't pass this up."

I crouched down to Levi's level, my hand threading through his hair. "You can't leave me this time. I don't... you left last time, and I don't want that again."

"I'm sorry. I tried. I tried so hard. I kept getting older and you were just frozen,... stuck in that damn crystal structure. It hurt so fucking much. No one could get you out and I kept talking to you, but I didn't even know if you could hear me..."

"Crystal...?" I asked, my memories hazy. "I-I didn't know I was in a crystal. I remember just... seeing you deteriorate in front of my eyes. It was like you were there, but wanted to die. I couldn't— I saw you die in front of me." I felt myself tearing up, "You died in front of me, killed yourself, and I couldn't do a thing. And then I was frozen in time, stuck for so long that I watched my friends die too. When the crystal thawed, nobody was left. I was all alone." I pulled Levi into my arms. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. So, so much." Levi hugged me tighter, possessively.

"Hanji apologized to me, y'know." I told him, "When they took your body away. They apologized for not being able to stop you, and visited me everyday because you couldn't."

Levi looked into my eyes and pulled me closer into him, connecting our lips. "I love you, Eren."

I felt tears fall as my hand went to his neck, moving my lips against his. "I love you too, Levi."

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Author's Note:

Guys! It finally happened!
My heart honestly breaks for my boo, Matthew. I'll marry him instead of Eren XD

- Mei, ya ill gal, actually